Saturday, March 30, 2013

The Tie That Binds

So this post is, in part, a few weeks late. I'm finding that my motto this year is "life happens" and it sometimes gets in the way of what I intend to do. But even in the posting of my blogs, I sense that God knew that making me wait to post would give more meat to the subject. Of course He was right.
About three Sunday's ago, I had the very unique and precious experience of being able to "perform" (I hate that word) original songs with my two roommates on a public platform. Each of us did one of our own, and then two others just to sandwich the set. It truly was an amazing experience. For me, having the two of them up on the platform with me, gave me an extra boost of confidence for sure, but I think the greater blessing was watching both of them step up and expose their hearts to the public. I know how incredibly nerve-racking such a set-up can be, and it was no less stressful this time around. But they did wonderful! I think, for all three of us, one of the exciting factors was the ability that we had to alternate roles with both leading and supporting, as well as alternating instruments. And as I had the pleasure of sitting in the back and playing the drum for both of their songs, I remember thinking how amazing it is to see how far the three of us have come this year and what a blessing it is to be walking this season of the journey with them both. And what a season it's been!

Jess has affectionately dubbed it "the dark ages" and I have to admit that it's a fitting title. In the last three weeks alone, life has changed dramatically for all three of us, in ways that we would have never expected. I'm not inclined to share my roommates business on here for all of you to read, but your prayers for them would be very greatly appreciated.
As for me, I've been working through the horribly painful process of healing from old childhood wounds and facing truths about myself and my parents that I've ignored for years. (Side note: this is largely responsible for my lack of postings.) I've been coming to terms with my parents' coming divorce, learning that to be disappointed in people drives us closer to the One who never disappoints and, in the process, finding a new passion for more of God, birthed out of broken-hearted worship. 
The last six months have been riddled with one pain after another. It has truly been a time of darkness. But in all of the darkness that has surrounded, the presence of His Spirit has penetrated in such a real, tangible way that I can't help but look at the pain and say "thank you Father." 
In addition to that, I marvel at His divine plan to bring the three of us (my roommates and I) together at this stage of life. Between the three of us we have faced death, separations, disappointments, scary and uncertain circumstances.... We have given up what we wanted to hold on to, we have stepped out blindly, we have learned to speak and learned to be silent. We have been transparent and brutally honest. We have prayed together, cried together, laughed together - often all in the span of just one conversation. :) Through it all we have seen the power and strength of our great God hold us, guide us and comfort us. And while each of us has come to know that He is and always will be enough to get us through any situation, He has additionally blessed us with each other. 
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecc 4:12"
There's a good chance that I've bragged on my awesome roommates already in previous posts, but this blessing is worth bragging about again. It is truly a comfort see how God has tangibly provided for each of us the relationship, the accountability and the strength that we would each need as we walk this road. I kind of feel as though the concert that we were able to do was a visible picture of how far the three of us have come both individually and corporately, and the fluid shifts in our roles with each other that happen as needed and so naturally. He has bonded us together, and even now, though we are not able to be together physically, there is a constant reminder that He has connected us to each other.
God is BIG. And He is faithful. And He knows long before we ever do, exactly what we need. I am so thankful that His provision has come in the form of such wonderful friends that will encourage, love on and help to carry burdens to the cross when the load is too heavy to carry alone.