Do Not Be Anxious
22 And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,[b]yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. 30 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 Instead, seek his[c]kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
I just can't seem to get away from this passage/concept lately. It's a good thing though. :) It means that I'm constantly being reminded of Who it is that I rely on for all things, and what my main purpose is to be. This is especially important to me right now as I'm settling into a new life, a new place with new people for a new season. God has been gracious to answer many questions that have been floating around in my heart in recent months in specific ways, but He hasn't answered all of them in detail. To those "unanswered" questions He seems to continue to refer back to this passage of scripture - "remember your calling right now, and trust Me", He says.
This isn't necessarily a new concept for me. My trust in Him has reached new levels of faith, trust and obedience, for sure, but there has been an element of trusting Him to take care of me throughout recent years. The beauty of it all is that the recent years of trusting and seeing Him come through in provision for things that I didn't even know that I needed makes it much easier to trust Him now when I'm literally looking to Him for daily supply.
The thing is, there's this "natural" human tendency in me to constantly look at my life through the lens of the outsider; to make my decisions and prepare any possible defense for though that might condemn or argue that I "don't suffer enough". That's not to say that people wish harm for me, but there seems to be a sense that "living for Christ", especially abroad, especially in missions, means that one must suffer with less: less finances, less material possession, less time for refreshment and relaxing, less..., less..., less....
I hear stories about people who are angry because people on the field are on "extravagant" vacations in some far away country, presumably with money allocated for mission work. And I think about the time that I was offered a [paid] trip to Thailand (from nearby China) and was able to have a true time of refreshment and encouragement in Abba after eight months of burnout. That trip was a blessing to my heart and my soul in so many ways. But for many, all that is known is that I went on vacation to Thailand.
Or how about the "big, modern, extravagant" houses that they live in that are seemingly way more than what's necessary?
Last year, I was blessed to have a home that was extravagant. But it was a gift from God, from the amount of space to the price of rent to ability to use it for the very things that He'd put on my heart to do - to serve and welcome and refresh people in a comfortable home environment.
These are just a few of the things that I've heard over the years about how field workers are misunderstood. I hear them and I think, "but what if that person were able to share their heart about that thing that you're judging? Would it change your perspective at all to hear that God is the one behind the extravagant provision?"
And so here I am, in "extravagant" Germany, living in yet another, very nice house, with wonderful people and a bike to get around on, and I find myself thinking, what would/do people say about my life right now? Do they see God? Do they know that it was God who introduced us to these wonderful people in a way that ONLY He could? Do they think that I'm wasting time when I answer the "what are you doing these days?" question with, "lots of reading, praying and preparing my heart to be sensitive to Holy Spirit during the coming term"?
Then I go to my Abba with all of these questions and he refers me back to the above passage. He reminds me that it's Him who's been taking care of me all of this time, it's He that I'm here to serve and obey, and it's He that will hold me in His "righteous right hand". So I will not be weary, for He is my God (Isa 41:10).
I read a quote by Bonhoeffer recently that said, "The life of discipleship is not the hero-worship we would pay to a good master, but obedience to the Son of God." It's easy for me to wish that everyone could see the way I see; that I could explain and argue and defend myself from the ideas that float around, but then I'm convicted for allowing people to be my Master. I serve only one Master - that is the Lord Jesus Christ.
When I'm tempted to look at things through the worlds perspective, I remember these words and shift my focus back to God. Looking though the worlds perspective is discouraging but I find my heart is filled with hope when I trust in the Father and rest in Him. So that is where I will stay. I will continue to watch Him work and pray that the eyes of the world around me will be opened as well to see the glorious works of His hands.
