Worship is…Part 7: The Church

In October some time, I joined a small group to study the Church in the Bible, taking a look at not just what did the early church “look like” per se, but also at leadership, instructions, purpose. How big? How come? What about today? What does that mean now? It’s been a wonderful time of fellowship, sharing and learning and I’m so thankful to God for bringing this seemingly unlikely group together.

You see, in the midst of my very obvious call to lead worship that God had/was dealing with me about, there came the question, “what does that mean in the church?” Now, I get that some might think that is a stupid question; that it’s obvious that if a person is called to lead others in worship, that would quite naturally mean that they would be using their gifts on Sunday morning and/or whatever other days of the week that the Body gathers together.

Well that’s not entirely true.

For one, if you remember several blogs back, there is the revelation that “leading worship” is about so much more than simply putting together a song set and getting other people (hopefully other believers) to follow along. It’s about creating, leading, guiding intentionally, those who are seeking an experience with our Heavenly Father so that there is not simply an emotional (or worse, musical) response to a feeling that cannot be explained, expounded or grounded into something more tangible and life changing.
I am not God. I cannot change a person’s life. But I do have the responsibility of leading others into His presence wisely, reverently, lovingly. Sometimes that just comes from song. Sometimes it’s a scripture or a testimony. Sometimes it’s silence. Here's an often misunderstood concept: leading worship is not about musical ability. It’s not about what I want. It’s not about manipulation. It’s about being in touch with Him who I’m preparing to bring others to meet. It’s His residence. Shouldn’t he get a say in how and why we come?

B, I’ve done Sunday morning music leading for many years, in many different capacities, responsibilities, durations and expectations. While my call to lead others in worship is unmistakable in my life, I’ve never felt particularly called to be a “full-time worship leader” in a specific body. It is an avenue that was briefly explored and felt that He has other plans and expectations with me and my calling (had I gone that route, I may not be in China now).

My point is that just because I’ve been called to lead the body of believers into worship encounters with our Creator, does not mean that the answer to my question is a black and white simple one. Evidently, he’s already told me full-time is not the road, so where does that leave me?

            Choo-choo Train (See the Skit Guys Adam And Eve, if you’re confused about my progression), I live in Asia. Being a full-time, called, passionate-about-worshiping-my Abba leader is going to look very different than what is commonly seen in North America. Even if I wanted to, the option of getting a full-time position is not so simple.

So when you’re called to live in a country where ministry looks like the everyday mundane of going to an actual j-o-b and earning a salary to live on; where the Body that is legally allowed to meet together is still controlled in some part by the government, and where most of those gathering are spending their days and nights giving, serving, meeting, and living in such a way that come Sunday, finding volunteers who aren’t burnt out can be a challenge; where there is lots of curiosity and hundreds of different cultures, backgrounds, denominations, beliefs, interpretations, and expectations being brought to the table – what does this call to worship really look like? If the call was easily misconstrued and misunderstood pre-Cn, how much more now in light of all of this.? I mean, I can’t just pick up my guitar and start worshiping my Father and expect all the others to join in can I?

J Maybe I can.

So, this last week’s meeting together of our small group, I felt summed up well, what I’ve learned about worship, about my calling/name, and about the Church:

-       1 Corinthians 12 talks about the gifts of the Spirit, “many members, one body”. We are to recognize that every individual has been gifted by the Spirit and that there is no greater or lesser, just different, so as to accomplish the ultimate goal.

-       1 Corinthians 13 talks about the importance of love. Most of us know this, and some of us might even be aware that it follows the chapter about Spiritual gifts, but how often do we consider that the two are connected? Our love for others should be non-judging, unbiased, not self-seeking but God seeking so that we, together, can accomplish the ultimate goal.

-       1 Corinthians 14 sums up the previous two chapters by exhorting us to seek both love and spiritual gifts, but with this added reminder – The body of Christ is to ALWAYS be encouraging, edifying, empowering and, get this, loving. This, so that no matter who or what, no greater, no lesser, in unconditional, Spirit-filled love, we can accomplish the ultimate goal.

So what is this ultimate goal?

            “So with yoiurselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church.” (emphasis mine) 1 Cor 14:12

            “What then, brothers?  When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for the building up.” (emphasis mine) 1 Cor 14: 26

If the church is the bride of Christ, should we not be seeking to build ourselves up? Should we not be seeking to be all that He has given us to be? For when we do, we the bride, glorify our Husband. And that, is my heart’s desire.

So I still don’t always have an exact answer to my question. It changes sometimes from day to day. I want to build up the church with spiritual gifts that I have been given. But I’m learning to accept that it doesn’t look the same every day.

That is what worshiping the Living God is all about!

Worship is… Part 6: Letting Go

In August, I was able to spend about three weeks off just hanging out and enjoying a little bit of summer. The time in HK was wonderful but I hadn’t prepared (in any way) to spend two weeks away from home and I desperately needed some ‘me-time’ at my own home.

When I got the word back from the university that they were not going to allow me to finish my degree this year, I struggled. 

A lot.

For over 6 years I have struggled to earn my four-year degree. There always seems to be something getting in the way. When I would go to Abba and ask Him about it, He would force me to look back down the road I’ve taken and then ask, “would you have done anything differently?”

Was there ever a decision or life change that I made that I didn’t feel like God was leading me to? No. (Well, one. But it was minor and God saw fit to use even that time. J)

My journey through life has never been easy, predictable or even practical. But I know that God has never left my side. In every season of my life, there has been a lesson learned.

Dealing with family

Learning what it means to be a leader

Learning what it means to be a friend

Learning that prayer works

Developing a faithful prayer life

Discovering God in the moment

Finding the importance of family (given and acquired)

When to hold on

When to let go

How to communicate

Self-worth

Identity

Call

Purpose

Trusting God in the good

Trusting God in the bad

Trusting God always

The list could go on. 

The lessons have been endless. And often they connect without me even realizing.

In August I went to God and begged for an answer for the “why” – I wouldn’t graduate. I had failed once again. The voice in my mind was telling me that I would never do it. That I didn’t deserve to do it. And that everyone in my life would now know the truth that I had tried so desperately to hide.

I went to him. And I asked. But I was too scared to listen.

Those who I had told the news about school had been more supportive than I could have imagined. In part, because they were intentional about making sure that they did not view me any differently than they did before. It struck me that there were only three people in my life who knew how badly this hit stung me, and I am pretty confident that none of them went off and told the world that I needed words of encouragement about this. I knew it was Daddy.

But even with that, I was too scared to admit my insecurities, even to Him.

A few weeks later my roommate sat me down and asked the hard questions.

“Would you be content if you never got a degree?”

In forcing me to look at what school meant to me, whether it had become an idol, whether I needed to just give it up, what has God told me about school, I learned another lesson about myself and about God.

I learned that a degree had become a point of self-worth to me.

I remembered that God has been teaching me to turn to Him with every struggle.

I learned that in even in this God had/has and will continue to be working and in no way do my achievements define who I am.

I learned to let it go.

"Let it go! Let it go!….I don't care what they're going to say! Let the storm rage on…." (hehehe couldn't resist)