I've been in Germany now for seven months.
It's been seven months of seeking God's face and depending on Him for direction and provision.
Seven months of learning what it means to "trust in the Lord and lean not on [my] own understanding" (Prov 3:5).
Seven months of trial.
Seven months of grace.
Seven months of stress.
Seven months of learning what it means to live guarded with the "peace that passes all understanding" (Phil 4:7).
Just after Christmas, it was brought to our attention that there was a misunderstanding in the financial expectations with our landlords, and suddenly we found ourselves with a very large bill and no income. I turned to God.
In November, I had a trial of learning what it means to trust in the goodness of God. What I learned from that was that God is ALWAYS good - no matter what, no matter where, no matter how the cards fall. God is good.
So now in the face of a mountainous bill, is God still good?
When there's a new, inexplicable ailment every week (for six weeks) that manages to somehow keep you down, is God still good?
When you know that your current God-given mission and objective is to learn the language so that you can clearly communicate the message of hope that you have been sent to share to a people, but you don't feasibly have the means to complete that task...is God still good?
When you weekly find yourself at the foot of God's throne, surrendering again the fears and doubts of living this life of faith, of loneliness, of pain, of distance, of - dare I say it - disappointment, IS GOD STILL GOOD??
The answer to all of these questions is invariably and resoundingly - YES!
And during that challenge in December, when I was literally facing a rock, a trench and a hard place and didn't like the looks of any of them I discovered what Paul really meant when he said to the Phillipians "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Phil 4:12)
I learned that (and this may seem basic for some of you), while I've said for years that "God is good all the time and all the time, God is good", my belief of that was dependent on Him working out His will in accordance to mine. In other words, I was operating under the belief that any outcome that did not coincide with the ideas that I had in my head would constitute a failure (and since I know that I can't fail God, my concern for failure actually had much more to do with a fear of man than a fear of God). Therefore, they were not "good".
However, the truth of the matter is that when we give something to God and say "Here you go. Do what you want with it" then God gets full control over what the outcome is - regardless of whether it's in line with what we want or not. AND, because God is good, ALL the time, "[h]e is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he" (Deut 32:4), then I should be able to not only trust but expect that any outcome that God brings about, get this, WILL. BE. GOOD.
Can I just tell you what a weight off that is for someone who has no idea where the money for bills is coming from? Can I just tell you that when you're asking friends and family to send monthly support to you to do the mission that God has called you to (especially when it's currently "to learn a language"), what a relief it is to be reminded that while these are the people I'm asking for money, these are not the people I'm asking for validation in my calling and mission.
My calling and mission are sure.
God's Word is sure.
My life's dependency on Him is sure.
But people, sadly, are not.
Opinions change.
Support varies.
Friends come and go.
There is only one constant in this world, and that is God. And He is it for me.
So, in the last three-ish months, I have... (Also known as "Praises")
- progressed (quite significantly I would say) in my German language level and am almost at the closing end of the A2 level.
- had the opportunity to start a bi-weekly small group with a couple of girls from the university
- have been privileged to start meeting one on one with another university student
- been able to join a church small group as well as participate with a couple of worship nights with fellow brothers and sisters.
- thankful for opportunities to share in meals with fellow language students and share about life and cultures
- experienced an incredible and unexplainable attitude of peace, grace and understanding towards others and towards myself
- begun to recognize new lessons beginning to be learned in my personal spiritual life (always exciting!)
Prayer Requests:
- Health: From depression to sinus infections to allergies (Spring will be brutal) to flu to strained muscles and fluke sickness that has never been a part of my life, my life has run the gambit for health issues in the last three months. I had a dear friend remind me about a month ago that God has a work here for me to do and the devil is certainly not going to just lie down and let me do it. My health has been one consistent way that the enemy has sought to keep me from doing all that I've set my mind to do. Please pray with me against these attacks and that my health would stay strong and good that I may continue on in the work that the Lord has set before me.
- Study: This time of unemployment has been meant to be a time of study and growth in both the Word and the language. In both of these areas there has been much growth evidenced and I'm both excited and thrilled to see where it continues leading me to. Please pray for the continued endurance needed to finish this season strong.
- Small Groups: I'm thrilled that we've finally got small groups started after a season of quietly learning what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Please pray that these groups would be a source and space of life, love, encouragement and community growth among us as we seek to live/do life together as Christ's disciples.
SFC:
1) The university is currently on break in between semesters until April so we're not currently having our weekly meetings. Absence can make the heart grow fonder but it can also cause a forgetfulness as well. Please pray that the community/family that has been built up over the last semester will actually be strengthened during this down time.
2) The student leaders are also taking this break time to pause and pray about what God's vision for SFC Freiburg is and how we can best carry that out given the means and talents that we currently have at our disposal. I ask you to please be praying for discernment, boldness sensitivity and wisdom to the things of God that he would have done on our university campuses.
- Future Plans:
1) Currently I have been in the process of applying for possibly apprenticeships that are available in Hotel Management. This would provide a bit of income, career training, a legal working visa and a whole new spectrum of people to influence with the Word of God (=]). However, this requires a German speaking level that I have not yet attained (B1, comes after A2), but am very close to. I would have to pass a test to say that I've done it. It also would require at least three years commitment, which is beautiful in the sense of long term (when three years is considered "long term") stability and constancy in the groundwork of ministry being laid; not necessarily so favorable in regards to return trips for visits in the US (but we'll see what God has in store). Please pray that if this IS God's will, the correct connections will be made and that those wheels will be set in motion ASAP.
2) I am also currently in the process of planning a return trip to the US this summer. My intention is to work as well as visit. First and foremost, this trip is an answer to prayer to see family and so, while I love the idea of working again, I also would really love to spend time with family and friends. Please be in prayer for all of the details that are involved with this (transportation, schedules, monies, etc) to be worked out gracefully in His timing.
- Finances: Six months ago I asked many of you to consider helping to support my life and calling here in Germany, three months ago I reiterated this sentiment again and made known to you the option of sending monthly support via my organization ICMS (you can go to Ray's donation Page), now I'm asking again. The reality is that I still have very little coming in and I'm still not allowed to work on my visa (I'm currently living off of $200/mo; hello!). That said, I ask you again to please consider donating a monthly amount (it can be as little as you can afford) so that I CAN continue on in this amazing work that He has started here in Germany.
- Freiburg: There is a work of God on the move in Freiburg, and it's because of the faithful prayers of many faithful ones over many decades. Freiburg is a small university town and seemingly insignificant, but when you take into consideration that Freiburg University is a well-renowned university that has students from all over the world, when you take into consideration that the university students of today are going to be the leaders and decision makers of tomorrow, I hope you see the significance of Spirit driven vision for this city. Will you join me in praying for this city, for its students and for the faithful saints that are here laboring in churches, on campuses and in other outreach ministries (refugees, sick, homeless, prayer and more)?
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