Love Grace

So I've been back in Xm for a week now, and to be completely honest, it's been a bit rough. The severity of it became apparent to me a few nights ago with the sudden and unexpected onset of tears during a random conversation. I have since been trying to pinpoint the cause and while there have been quite a few factors involved, the root of it can be chalked up to exhaustion and stress (which I have never been known to handle well). But I'm not writing to tell you about how upset I've been, rather I had a moment on the bus ride home today that I felt worth sharing. 

With the backdrop of frustration and exhaustion, I happened to look down at my left hand where the only ring I wear these days sits. I tend to play with it quite often without ever really thinking about it, but today as I looked down at it I was reminded of the significance of this ring. For me, this ring holds dear for a few reasons. It is a simple friendship knot that reminds me of love. I'm reminded of my love for my father - who bought me the ring. I'm reminded of the commitment I've made to my future husband to love him always and unconditionally. I'm also reminded of God's love for me. 

You see, the idea of love in a knot holds a perfect picture of truth to me, because there is no love that can be broken without permanent damage. Love, once forged, is binding, intimate and becomes a part of your very person. No matter what the degree of a relationship, when a bond of love is formed, there is no taking it back. 
In my self-absorbed exhaustion, I have strained relationships that are dear to me, causing a deeper pain. And while we may endure the pain we cause to ourselves, I was reminded on that bus today that Jesus suffered that pain to the ultimate degree, and THAT because of his unceasing, passionate love for me. More than that, it's because of the pain of a "broken knot", I can now rest assured knowing that no matter how badly I pull away, how often I turn away or how stubbornly I stay away, there is "nothing that can ever separate [me] from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither [my] fears for today not [my] worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate [me] from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate [me] from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8: 38-39)
There is a peace that comes from this reminder. It's sets my heart at ease and allows me to let go of what I can never control. 

God, thank you for the grace of your love that pours over my ugliest moments.