Monday, October 29, 2012

How do I feel?

How do you get your brain to slow down? 
On those days when you feel like you're in hyperdrive and you're about to spin out of control, how do you get grounded?
Some people go for a walk or a run, some have a drink or a smoke, some read a book or watch tv. Some people just don't slow down until everything falls apart, while others will just quit altogether when things get too crazy.

Since being in CN, I've discovered a purpose for coloring. It gives my body something to do while allowing my brain time to relax and reset. Sometimes I process. Sometimes I just zone out. I've found it to be very theraputic. AND the beauty of it is that as a kindergarten teacher, I can usually find things that need to be colored for some activity in class which then allows me to kill at least two birds with one stone. =]
However, for the second time this month, I have been deathly ill. Ok, not deathly...I have family members reading this who will be more than a little concerned...I'm fine now. As I was lying around with zero energy and desperately needing something to do, I started coloring the animals in Brown Bear, Brown Bear. Obviously, we'll be doing something with that book this week in class.

Where am I going with this? Obviously my coloring therapy has some room for improvement.

One of my roommates has been getting on me about not taking time to slow down and just rest until my body refuses to function any more and I'm forced to stay in bed. Apparently, it's my own fault for being sick.... Without realizing it, I think I tend to live my life in overdrive. And anything that slows me down or is not a part of "the plan", is seen as an irritation. Emotions, responsibilities, forgotten promises to keep, random stranger, or friend wants to talk...obviously, I swallow the inconvenience and make the best of a great opportunity. But swallowing the emotion, doesn't always make it go away. I tend to be more of an "act now, feel later" type of person. 
As I was coloring yesterday, I got to thinking about how even in my spiritual walk I tend to stay in hyperdrive, which means that I don't slow down often enough to just rest with God. "Act now, feel later" is as conducive to a growing relationship with God as ignoring stressors will keep me from getting sick every three weeks. It's not gonna happen. What I'm learning is that I need to take time to ask how do I feel. And not just when I get around to it, but during the actual moment. 

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