Summer

I feel the need to back track a bit. I spend a lot of my time contemplating and rehashing events in my life. But this often occurs when I’m unable to reach a means of recording my thoughts – preferably a computer, as my fingers keep up with my brain better when they’re typing. That said, I’d like to go back to my summer.

I had the opportunity to go back to the States for two months. Two months sounds like a wonderful amount of time to spend vacationing (especially when you’re spending it in your home country), however when you’re visiting three cities and an unknown amount of people, two months can fly by.

To be completely honest, I was a bit apprehensive on my return home. Spending a year out of your comfort zone will cause one to stretch and grow in ways that most wouldn’t even think of, let alone experience. The idea of going back home and facing the multitude of questions about life in China was daunting. How do you explain to people whose lives have simply continued on, that your life has been completely turned inside out? Seemingly all of the sudden, people you were once walking through life with, now seem to be on a different road altogether. And here I am taking a brief detour to try to explain to you what my road looks like. It’s an overwhelming task to attempt for one such as I; one who wholeheartedly wants to keep all the wonderful people that have blessed my life in the loop of what’s becoming of my life.

On top of this, I was returning to a bit of chaos at my parents’ house and I didn’t have a clue what I was about to walk into. What I did know was that my time was limited and that I wanted to make the most of the time I had with those I loved.

I over-think at times. Usually prior to anything actually happening. On my way home, I did A LOT of praying. I prayed for strength and discernment; for peace and for patience, and for a lot of love and compassion. What I found upon arriving state-side, was that I had grown a lot more over the last year than I had realized. My faith and dependency on God had been cultivated in such a way that situations I faced had the opposite affect on me. Rather than being stressed out and frustrated with unreliable people or ridiculous circumstances, I experienced peace in knowing that it was all under His control and a joy in recognizing the opportunity that failed plans created for something more, somewhere else. I rejoiced in moments of suffering out of thankfulness for simply being able to be there with loved ones as they faced those trials. This summer taught me how wonderfully faithful God is; how gracious and patient He is with His children and how peaceful His love is.

I am incredibly grateful for my time home this summer. Relationships are precious to me, and I realize that I’m horrible about staying in touch, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care. Despite what some might think, I care more than you know. But more comforting to me is the fact that I know the One who brought each of you into my life. I know that He had a plan and a purpose for doing so and I know that He has control.  I know that friendship is built on more than convenience and that I’ve been blessed to have many that have and will continue to withstand the distance.

I’ve had many people ask me how my summer went. And while home, I had a lot of people ask me how my year in China was. As you can see, neither of these are easy questions for me to answer, as there is a lot involved in an honest answer. But hopefully, I can give you a better view from my perspective here. God bless