The Brokenness of Being Abroad

Living abroad is exciting.

You get to see new places. Experience new cultures. Meet wonderful people. And if you’re really lucky, you get to see the amazing works of God all over in the world.

Knowing that this is exactly where God has called me to be right now, I love my life.

I love the adventures.

I love the stories.

I love God.

More and more everyday.

But the truth is that living abroad is hard. Living abroad hurts. And living abroad is far from easy.

When you’re living abroad everything is foreign. EVERYTHING.

From food to housing to culture to transportation to language, everything is different. Even in cultures that might be similar to your home culture, it’s still different enough to remind you at the end of the day that this is not where you came from.

When you’re living abroad people are far away.

The sad fact is that living abroad means leaving behind lifelong friends and the closest of family members. The people who [you] promised to write every week; [you] don’t. The people you used to talk to every day suddenly seem to have disappeared at times. You miss out on life events that you never would have dreamed of missing – ie. Weddings, pregnancies, babies, graduations, family reunions, birthdays, the list goes on. The big stuff, the small stuff, it all becomes even more significant when you’re in another country.
Sure, you meet great people while living abroad. God provides amazing community and you find that you’ve all managed to create your own weird little family culture that somehow (divinely) works. But even then, the reality is that as expats living abroad, people are transient. They come. They go. And you learn that goodbyes are never far away.

When you’re living abroad nothing is as easy as it would be at home.

Whether you’re dealing with visas and banks or just navigating the processes of a new culture, it’s common to briefly think, “at home I would have just _______ and then ______.” But you’re not at home. And even the easiest of days can be an incredible expenditure of emotional energy that leaves you exhausted when you hit the bed.

The reality is that when God calls us to leave the comfort of home to go “to the land that I will show you”, it’s far from easy. It’s not always fun. And those back home rarely get to witness the tears and brokenness that is experienced from the other side of an ocean or border.

The stress of not knowing what the next step is going to be, or how this need is going to be met can be overwhelming.

The pain of feeling misunderstood by those you most want to run to for comfort is difficult to be put into words.

The brokenness of knowing that your absence is a source of hurt in the lives of those you care about is heart-wrenching.

Those of us who have been called away from home, security, friends and familiar may happily walk away seemingly oblivious to what we’re walking away from. We’re not.

If we fail to maintain regular contact, we ask for grace as we extend the same grace to you.

When you see all the Facebook photos of all the fun and wonderful things that we’re getting to experience, remember that there are hours and days of pain and stress and fighting that aren’t being broadcast to the world. We’re human too.

And when we ask for help – of whatever kind that may be – please don’t assume that we’re actually talking to someone else, or that someone else will fill the need. Because the reality is, it’s really easy to feel alone when your closest loved ones are 7,774 miles away. No matter where you are or who’s with you.