Sotiris: Lesson 2

Wounds can happen with even the best intentions

Yesterday I left Sotiris outside to enjoy some sunshine (he's supposedly an indoor plant) but brought him back in for the night as it's still getting pretty chilly at night.* However, my room tends to get dry and warm with the heat on and I don't know if it was the change in temperature or just a lack of observation previously on my part, but when I went to sit outside with Sotiris today, I noticed a couple of brown leaves. A few of them were new baby shoots that had started, but shriveled up before anything could firmly take hold. The others were damaged spots on already established leaves. 

I. Was in. Shock.

Legitimately!

I mean, I like to think I'm not THAT oblivious to something that I'm responsible to care for! I've been watering and praying and giving him sunshine and fresh air....and yet here, before my eyes, I see evidence of damage done to this thing that I am far more attached to than my pride will let me admit outright. And I'm...clueless.

As I sat there apologizing, to both the Lord and the tree, for my negligence, and wondering how this could happen when I've been so diligent in caring for him, the Lord began to whisper a few things to me.

1) It is possible to not see/notice new growth until it's too late - and sometimes we never actually see it. And this isn't always a bad thing. Don't misunderstand me. I think that far too often though, we can miss the "first steps", the "new growth", the wing stretching, the stepping out into something new because the "new" can often seem so insignificant. And dare I say, in my own life anyway, I miss it as much in my own life as I do in the lives of those the Lord has granted met he privilege of being witness to. Sometimes the dead leaves fall off before we ever know they're there. 

And I had no idea what caused the bruising on those leaves, but it made me sad to know that these beautiful leaves would likely have a permanent scar from something that I had no awareness of. What if it happened again? What if...? 
"What if's?" trail along in my mind thinking that I somehow needed to protect the tree from....nature. It's natural. It's not pleasant, but it happens. And maybe I did have a part in the wounding....(ooo, ouch. Here we go Lord...#2), but maybe I didn't. And either way, maybe these little wounds won't be the death of my little tree. 

I've been challenged to be more mindful of my words and actions and how they impact those around me. I don't want to miss the opportunities to encourage new growth and I don't want to be the cause for someone else's wounds. Most certainly, premature growth happens and maybe it doesn't work out. And not all bad experiences are because of me. But I can be more aware of what is happening and how to respond.

2) Wounding....The Lord has been healing a lot of old wounds. And some new ones. It's easy to get angry and point the finger at those that we feel should have known better, should've seen, should've done better. I thought of how many stories of parents who have had the best intentions to do right by their kids, only to find out that their child was wounded by some event that they weren't even aware of. Whether it's the "first steps" that parents completely miss or new growth that they were just too busy to see or just life happening...children get wounded. 

As a child who has been wounded, this reality gives me the grace to show forgiveness. It reminds me to be intentional to see beyond the fault and address the wound. As well as to remember that sometimes failures promote more growth. Failure doesn't have to be the end.

3) Unlike us, God is never unaware. He doesn't miss the new growth - whether it's premature or not -  or the bruises, and he knows exactly it's purpose in our lives. He has a plan, a good plan (See Jer 29:11).

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depth of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psa 139: 13-16

The Lord has been teaching me a lot about the significance of wounds in our lives. Not the least of which is that the wounds do not make us, do not define our worth or ability. Sotiris is a very healthy and happy tree. So he's got a bruised leaf or two...I've probably got a few more than two bruised leaves on my life tree but I have been blessed beyond measure. Not because I've earned it. I've not worked my way into overcoming the pains. I've simply once again come to realize that the wounds don't define me, don't limit me, don't value me.
Only Jesus can do that. 
Anyone says who says any different speaks a lie. 
Jesus knew me before sin. Jesus knows me now. And the really beautiful thing?! Jesus was with me and saw me in EVERY bruise and EVERY failed new growth attempt. 

The tree will continue to grow.

*It was still winter in FL during the time of writing this