This morning on my way to work, I was thinking about the justice and righteousness of God.
I was thinking about the fact that His promises stand true, but they are conditional. What I mean is that God promises blessings to those who obey, but curses to those who don't. But those who start off well but finish lousy are no better off than those who don't start at all and those who start lousy but finish well are just as blessed as those who got it right from the beginning. Where's the justice in that?
The justice is in the fact that God set the standard AND has made a way for us to meet Him. The justice is in the fact that we are not justified by what we do, but what we believe. And what we believe effects our choices. His grace is necessary because of His justice and I find it necessary to remember that His grace is not to be ignored.
But where am I going with this?
Well...
As I was thinking about this, I got to thinking about how much I take Him for granted. Not intentionally of course, but in becoming complacent to the reality of His grace in my life, I see times where I become indifferent to who He really is.
I have a few friends who are wonderfully emotional. They show how they feel - happy, sad, otherwise. They're great for me because I'm waaay too sedate on my own. But I've run into a few occurrences where my lack of emotive display comes across as indifferent to those around me, and can be hurtful when they've gone out of their way to do something nice for me. So I ask myself, "why"? And I come back to my insecurity. My protective instinct is to not show too much emotion so that if I get hurt, it's not so obvious to others around me, how badly I'm hurt. THEN, I realized that I do the same thing with God. Not because I don't want to be let down by Him, but just out of habit. I simply don't acknowledge the wonderful gifts and attributes of who He is and as a result miss out on their significance in my life. As well as simply allowing opportunity to become more intimate with Him.
This quote by John Piper comes to mind as I think on this,
"What is sin?
The glory of God not honored,
the holiness of God not reverenced,
the greatness of God not admired,
the power of God not praised,
the truth of God not sought,
the wisdom of God not esteemed,
the beauty of God not treasured,
the goodness of God not savored,
the faithfulness of God not trusted,
the commandments of God not obeyed,
the justice of God not respected,
the wrath of God not feared,
the grace of God not cherished,
the presence of God not prized,
the person of God not loved.
That is sin."
When we choose - intentionally or unintentionally - to gloss over parts of God, we miss the opportunity to discover who He is. God is GOOD. That means that there is no part of Him that we should fear to know; no attribute for us to avoid. I'm praying that God would grant me the awareness to recognize Him in ALL of His fullness.
Don't let complacency make you indifferent to all He is. Dig deeper and let Him reveal Himself to you.
"Like clay in the hand of the potter, so you are in my hand." - Jeremiah 18:6
I realize that the illustration of God as the "Master Potter" gets used a lot and is even a bit self-explanatory, but it's still a valid point if only because God himself paints this picture for us. Bear with me, would ya?
The Bible tells us that we are clay in the hands of THE Artist. We're not just subject to some random artist, but the very One who created the universe. Can you sit on that concept for a minute?
The One who put the stars in their place, who hung the galaxies, and created this beautiful world that functions because of the tiniest details with only His spoken words, is, with His very hands, crafting YOU into a masterpiece.
You are not nothing. You are not an accident. You are not worthless.
I have never met a person who has not struggled with control and/or value. We want to be in control because then we have less chance of getting hurt (that's the argument). The truth is that we are NEVER in control...no matter what we think. Life changes in a heartbeat and there's nothing we can do but respond to those changes....
And for some strange reason, we learn from a very young age that our value comes from a source outside of ourselves. So we strive, we work, we please, we embarrass, we belittle, we hide. We find ways to prove our worth to those around us or to hide our lack of worth from those around us.
So the crux of our struggles in life generally always come to these two points: control and value. Simple right? The answer to the struggle is even simpler: "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so you are in My hand."
You have never had and never will have control. But the One who has control is good and trustworthy. Let go and rest in His hands.
And your value doesn't come from mom, dad, boy/girlfriend, friends, boss or archenemy. The value you were born with, and still hold today, comes from the very One who created you with His own hands. Let Him mold and shape you into the masterpiece He's planned.
I don't have much to brag about. I'm nothing special. In fact, I'm the one trying to hide from the spotlight so as not to be seen and therefore, not to disappoint. But this one thing I have learned is worth bragging about:
No one else will ever love me as well as He does. No one else could ever do me better than He will. And no one else will ever see me as the precious jewel that He created me to be. Therefore, no one else will ever matter as much in my life as Him.
Hey all!
I realize that it's been a while since the last time a made a substantial post. There has been a lot going on in the last few months. So what I would love to do here is sort of update you in the form of a prayer request list. Those of you who have questions or comments, feel free to contact me however you know how. And those of you who have prayer requests of your own, please make those known as well. <3 ya all!!
- Parents separation. The main reason for my literary absence has been due to me taking time to process and deal with issues going on with family back home. Both of my parents as well as my sister could use constant covering (as well as myself, of course) during this time of adjustment and transition.
- JT Contract. It's that time again. When I have to make a decision about whether to stay in China for another year or to return Stateside. There quite a few factors to be considered in this decision, and I'll be sitting down with the boss this week to discuss options with him. Direction, wisdom and guidance would be much appreciated.
- Liberty U. I am still taking courses online through Liberty, and thus far they have gone fabulously. I pray that it continues that way. I have a two week trip/vacation to Thailand coming up and need to be sure that school doesn't fall behind during or because of that time.
- JT. There are a lot of changes and adjustments being made with the school that I'm working with and we (the staff) would all very much appreciate prayer support through all of it.
- Safe travels. Chinese New Year will be spent traveling/ministering in Thailand.
- Personal spiritual/ministry growth. Wisdom and diligence to upcoming opportunities and needs.
- *Insert yours here* Please let me know how I can be praying for you. I may be horrible about staying in touch, but that doesn't mean I'm not constantly thinking and praying for you.
Years ago I used to pray to God for the boldness to be transparent; to be able to be completely honest with other people about my struggles, my strengths, my fears, my joys, my insecurities....
What I began to see was a growing willingness and desire to share my life with those around me. But I also realized that not everyone is willing, or wanting, to see the transparency of another. Everyone is NOT ok with complete honesty or the brutal reality of facing hard questions. I have been blessed immeasurably with a handful of friends who have been wonderful companions in this walk through life. Friends who have been there, ungrudgingly, in my time of need, and who I've been honored to witness God's working in their lives as well.
Here in Cn, there are two people in particular who have been a kind of catalyst to me in seeing this concept play out in my life.
My mentor has been unbelievably patient with me and my insecurities for the last year and a half, and her wisdom is truly of God. She has challenged me to dig in deeper with God in harder, more fruitful ways than I could have imagined two years ago. Probably one of the most memorable lessons I've learned from her is the necessity of being intentional. In terms of my walk with God, it means that He wants us to be intentional with Him. Peace, wisdom, discipline, guidance, service - these all take an intentional act on our part that is not always comfortable and usually scary. But He is faithful to hear and answer our prayers.
The other is one of my roommates.
Now, I want to point out that I have two roommates that are both amazing and equally precious to me. Their individual wisdom, patience, strength and understanding have been both inspiring and encouraging to me. I wouldn't have gotten through the last four months without them both. So don't misunderstand me, I'm not picking favorites. :) However, I've been blessed with the opportunity to see a special kind of friendship form between two friends who are so desperate to do God's will and to be ever in His presence that humility has taken the place of pride so that rather than two friends walking alongside each other in a self-absorbed kind of way, what you get instead is a beautiful, yet sometimes painful picture of individual growth and love through the accountability, growth and love of another. You see the beauty of encouragement, burden bearing, service and companionship.
The reason that I'm sharing this is that as I was sitting and considering all of this, I began to see the parallels to my relationship with God. God made us relational people. And as such, we often get a glimpse of his attributes in the lives of those around us. God wants a relationship with us. And not just the acknowledgement or the surface level friendship, but to actually, intentionally seek solace in Him who knows all of our insecurities, fears and struggles. He wants us to be transparent with Him; to be so transparent with him, that our thoughts towards him are not focused on how to present ourselves to Him, but rather - because He already knows - to simply be in His presence. He wants to walk through the pit with us as much as He wants to bring us to the palace. The point is to be with Him. Be transparently honest with Him. It's scary and many of our fears and insecurities are painful to admit, but they won't change a single thought that He has about you. He already knows and loves you despite all of them. Just think of what a freedom that would be to know - really know - that there are no restraints holding us back on either end of this relationship. :)
