Worship Is… Part 5: Schoooool’s Out [For Summer]!

In June, we were settling into our new apartment and completing work contracts, and, I, was anxiously looking forward to a few weeks off for summer break (my roommate had already been off of work for several weeks).

Without boring you with too much detail, in order to live and work legally in China, you must have a work visa provided by the company that you are working for. Since I was changing jobs, that meant that I was going to have to go through a new visa process; which included a trip to Hong Kong for paper work and leaving the country and all that jazz.

Joanna and I had planned a trip to HK to spend a few days with a friend of ours who was about to move back to States to get her Master’s degree. However, it was about two weeks too early to get my visa stuff processed at the same time. So I was going to have to make another trip back a few weeks later. Here are the details to keep in mind:

            We left for HK on Saturday, July 26.

            Return tickets scheduled for Monday, July 28.

            My visa expired (I cannot get back into China) Thursday, July 31.

To make a long story short, by some fluke [Divine] intervention, Jo and I missed our train back to Xiamen by five minutes on that Monday. There were no more available tickets until the following Monday, at which point my visa would be expired and would not be able to go home.

This meant that my new employer was going to have to mail all the paperwork to me in HK when it was ready.

It also meant that I/we needed a place to stay for an indefinite amount of time.

So we returned to our beloved friend’s parents house, and they were kind enough to house us for a few more days, during which time we were able to work out other accommodations for the rest of the time.

But something else happened as well. On the morning of Tuesday, July 29, I received an email from my university informing me that I had been put on Academic dismissal.

(Now, there are so, so, SO many feelings and background stories that I could share about this….but this is not the specific purpose of this blog, so suffice it to say that, the process of getting to this point with the school had been long and arduous.) Despite the process I had been going through with the school, I felt blindsided by this information. And originally, the shame kept me from telling pretty much anybody. But by God’s grace, the conversation kept conveniently turning to it with various people that day and by the evening, everyone knew. However, no one’s reactions were what I’d anticipated.

The email had mentioned one last appeal option. We took it. Four of us, women from various walks of life, currently different paths, with different skill sets and talents got together and prayed and brainstormed and cried (well that was mostly me), and, for two days put together the best possible appeal proposal any school could possibly ever want to receive from a student (esp one struggling on the other side of the world). These days were precious and so obviously divinely ordained. I strongly believe that I needed to be there in that house, with that family for that moment in my life. My process would have been so entirely different, if I hadn’t had them by my side.

I received an email back from the university the day after submitting my appeal saying that they would give me an answer within two weeks. For the next week and a half, Joanna and I had time to relax, process, catch up with friends and just enjoy the many God stories that He was giving us. (Even during this time, He never failed to remind us that Daddy was the one in control, and that we could totally depend on Him.) We even got a few days on the beach!

In the end, I determined that apparently Daddy saw fit to give his girls just over two weeks of not just down time, but time of refreshment and encouragement from very good and very special friends. Something we needed and weren’t really aware of.

Three weeks later I finally got word back from the university. They decided to refuse my appeal. Knowing that God had clearly been working through all of it during weeks prior, there was a strange, unexplainable peace that came with the news. Options were plenty, time was no longer an issue as I was able to get my visa, and I was ok with waiting for the next step to present itself. I still struggle[d] a bit with shame and judgment from others about this situation (if you’re curious about more details, email me), but even in that He is/was faithful.

“Even what the enemy means for evil, You turn it for our good and Your glory. Even in the valley You are faithful, You’re working for our good and Your glory.” – Soveriegn Over Us, MWS

Worship is…Part 4: God Provides

So far I’ve taken you through most of April and May. Another event that was happening in May was the knowledge that our landlord was raising the rent and that our house of three was to become a house of two. This meant a move.

In May, I had yet have a direction on a new job, so I had little idea on where I would be working or what kind of income I would be bringing in – two slightly important bits of information that should play into ones moving strategy.

My roommate Joanna, knew what she wanted to do for work for the coming school year, but had yet to be offered the position and so she too was in a little bit of a bind.

We found ourselves in, what Blackaby would call a ‘crisis of belief’.

If we believed that God was for us always, then we must also believe that he would lead us where he wanted us to go.

So we prayed. We reasoned. And we trusted.

We made a list of needs – reasonable price, two rooms, storage, etc – and, yes, a list of wants – bathtub, near the ocean, big kitchen, etc. J We took the lists to God and said, “Lord, we know that you can do all things, and we believe that You want to provide for your children. We’ll go wherever you lead, just point the way.”

Divinely ordained, we found a real estate agency in the neighborhood we were feeling compelled towards, who had a few English speaking employees who were more than helpful, but initially we were coming up with nothing promising.

So we went back to God and tried listening a little better. We were convinced on the location, and had determined a financial cap that we could afford. When we went back to looking again, we told our friends at the agency exactly what we were looking for. 

They told us we were crazy. 

They said we would never find what we were looking for in the price range we were asking.

And then one day...

One Saturday afternoon, we get a text from one the agents exclaiming “I’ve found your house!”

We were skeptical.

But then we saw pictures…

Wood floors

Gorgeous kitchen

Two bedrooms/baths

Window seats

Washer

Storage

…and we began to become convinced.

We agreed to meet her on Sunday after lunch to look at the place.

Upon entering we were both in awe. The place, though dirty from lack of inhabitants, was perfect. As we walked through and discovered it was in fact three bedrooms, not two. There were two balconies, not one. There was a view of the ocean from not one, but two window seats. And the amount of storage in the house was beyond what we could have anticipated. AND… it was in our budget!!

We looked at two other places that day, but our minds were made up. We knew that this was the place that God had given us.

We signed the next day and were moved in two weeks later – June 1.

The beginning of June was the beginning of a whole new adventure.  We prayed over and committed this place to the Lord’s use from the beginning. There has never been a question that God led us to this neighborhood, this apartment complex, this apartment for a specific purpose. It has allowed stranded travelers to have a place to sleep for the night. It has fed and entertained hungry tummies and souls. It has been place of refuge and solace. And even now, I anticipate it being so much more in coming seasons.

On a side note, we found out after the contract signing, that both our agent and our landlord are also believers. This is HUGE and yet another testimony for Abba’s faithfulness.

The area that we moved into is greatly influenced by Buddhists and many of the homes and shops have an idol boxed parked somewhere near the front room. 

1) Finding a place that did not have that kind of dark spiritual influence present, is a miracle.
2) Having the opportunity to shine the light of Christ here is an even greater honor.

Please be praying with us.

Worship is…Part 3: The Conference

So a quick recap of my last two blogs, in case you missed them:

I was doing my daily reading one night, frustrated with life and feeling a bit stuck spiritually, when God brought my attention to 2 Chronicles 29:11, 15-19, in which he clarified the purpose of my call as a “worship leader”. After reading these passages, I embarked on a two-week fast that changed my life and opened my eyes. Strongholds that I had been fighting for years were suddenly broken, addictions and temptations that I used to have to guard against no longer held any kind of sway over me. The truths of God’s word began to take hold of my heart in new ways.

During this time, I was still doing the eight-week group study with my friends. The inner healing program ends, though, with a conference where all participants in the area/city/region get together to pray and strengthen each other in what we’ve all learned in prior weeks. For us, that meant going to Hong Kong for a two-day conference.

To be honest, I was a little bit apprehensive about it. Not because I doubted the validity, but I had struggled so much with the book material and its “current relevance” to my life, that I was struggling to believe that there was a purpose for me to go. Deep down I believed that God could use anything to speak to his children and I knew that I had no idea what was in store. But on the surface, I was feeling like God used the fast so much more in my life than the study that we’d been working on, in terms of inner healing and restoration, that I was really struggling.

But we’d paid the money and I wanted to get out of town for a few days, so we went.

My roommate and I skipped the first evening of sessions. But we showed up with smiles on our faces (and no clue what was about to happen) the morning of the second day. I won’t go through all the areas of prayer and talks and all, but I will say that I found myself very grateful and celebratory for the fact that I could stand up and say that many of these strongholds and wounds no longer had mastery over me. That in itself was a victory for me to celebrate. Looking back, I’m also inclined to believe that God knew that I would have never been able to process through all that was discussed there in a personal way in just one day. If not for the fast, a lot probably would have been glossed over.

But there was a significant point at the end of the conference that still sticks out to me: 

What is your name?

The leader of the organization that organizes these events got up to talk about God’s name for each of us. Not a job. Not a gift or talent. A name; an identity that He has specially given to each of us. Most of us don’t ever think or take the time to ask Him about it, but I do believe that He has a name for each of us. During the prayer time for that session, we were to ask God what our names were.

I asked. It was difficult. But I asked.

And the answer I got was 2 Chronicles 29:11. Believe it or not, in the weeks between preparing and participating in the fast and the conference, I had forgotten about 2 Chronicles 29:11.

Tears began to flow….

My roommate, Jo, had recently asked me what the name, Raychel, means – the best I’ve ever been told is Lamb of God.

So as God is reminding me of the meaning of my name and 2 Chronicles 29:11, it’s becoming clear to me…

My name is Raychel. I am a precious lamb of God who has been set apart to draw others to the Father.

Worship is….Part 2: The Daniel Fast

I was reading through the rest of 2 Chronicles 29, and as I got further down past verse 11 (confused? see previous post), the scriptures explain the cleansing process that took place by the Levites as they prepared the Temple for rededication. As I read it, I could feel God saying, “you need to consecrate yourself and get ready.”

How?

I’d been talking to God about doing a fast. I didn’t know how long. I didn’t know what I would be fasting. I don’t even think I really had a clear goal in mind – which was why I was seeking direction about how to fast.

This was it. I suddenly had an idea for the purpose and length of time. For two weeks I would fast with the intention of purifying and cleansing my life and heart in a way that would prepare me for the call that God was laying down before me. So I mapped it out. Each day of the fast would be a focus on different areas – i.e. breaking chains, past hurts, present goals, future desires, forgiveness, heart issues, etc. Through another process, I decided on a Daniel fast - eating only fruits and vegetables and nuts.

I've done fasts before. But always they have been solely focused on God alone and trying desperately to ignore myself. This fast was vastly different in approach and feelings because I was intentionally focusing on myself. But I wasn't just focusing on myself, I was exposing myself to God and allowing him complete control. After 10+ years of following Christ, I can honestly say that was an experience I had never experienced before.

Most days, when I would open my journal to see what the days focus was, God would reveal something wholly different than what I had anticipated when I wrote it all out. My journal was flooded with scriptures each day and the promises of God began to take on a whole new meaning in my life; a whole new life of their own. I found myself seeing things from a whole new perspective and strongholds and temptations that I’ve struggled with for years were suddenly broken.

I felt free.

I felt light.

I felt confident in who I was in Christ.

And I had the assurance that anything God called me to do, I could do in the power of His Holy Spirit.

The two weeks I spent doing the Daniel fast, was a complete shift in my world. It was as if my world we suddenly flipped on it’s side and everything was incredibly clearer.
I know that concept is completely wrong, but isn’t that just the way that God works?

But for all the wonderful things and feelings that I had about the changes that were being made in my life after the fast, God was just getting started. 

Worship Is….Part 1

I heard a great testimony yesterday about how God is a god who sees the future and prepares for it long before we’re ever aware of the need. With that in mind…when I say that this story began about eight months ago, I have no doubt that it actually began long before that through a whole other series of events.

God is Sovereign

Over every one. Over every thing. He is in control, always.

Back in April a couple of friends and I began a study group together that focused on inner healing – something that I knew that I was in need of. But as I began on this journey with them, I knew that in my own heart there was a sense of holding back and a need for more; both at the same time (I know it’s bizzare), and I was having a very hard time reconciling it. The study was good. It was reiterating things that God has been teaching and working in me for the last two years at least. But I had a hunger for something greater than a reminder. And I as I would pray over study time and scripture, I would feel restless and frustrated.

Until one night during my daily reading time, it suddenly hit me – literally. I was reading through 2 Chronicles 29, about King Hezekiah (who happens to be one of my favorite kings to read about) and suddenly it was like God knocked me in the head and said, “Did you catch that? It was for you. Read it again.” This is what it said:

“My sons, do not now be negligent, for the Lord has chosen YOU to stand in his presence, to minister to him and to be his minsters and make offerings to him.” (v 11, emphasis mine).

This was King Hezekiah talking to the Levites and the priests in the Temple after his decision to recommit the nation to God and His law. In that moment, it was God talking to me.

Something that I’ve known for a long time is that I have been called to lead people in worship. Something that God has been teaching me for at least the last year is that ‘leading people in worship’ means so much more than knowing how to put together a good music set and get them all to sing along.

About a month or two prior to this (I told you I would backtrack further J), I was having a conversation with some older friends, who I respect very much for their spiritual maturity, over dinner, and the position and role of a worship leader was brought up. It was one of the first times that I had ever heard the concept (in a clear, concise verbal form) that a worship leader is responsible for leading people to God with a purpose. We’re not just to get them to gates of His temple and then leave them there to hang out, but we’re to guide them in and “mediate”, so to speak, a conversation, an experience, an entrance into His presence with the purpose of receiving a bit of Him in us that will leave us forever changed.

(Note: I use that word ‘mediate” very loosely. I am well aware that Jesus is our mediator and make no attempts to state otherwise.)

Think on that concept for a moment….imagine if every time you entered into the presence of God you were eternally changed by that experience?

I'm pretty sure that's how it's supposed to be

As I was reading that verse in 2 Chronicles, this was confirmed to me more clearly. These were the leaders, organizers and responsible parties for worship services that took place at the Temple. And here, God was telling me that this too is my call, to stand in and be an example for the people to follow.

I continued reading through the chapter. A few verses down from 11, we read about what the Levites response was to Hezekiah’s exhortation. They consecrated and prepared themselves to cleanse the house of the Lord. In just over two weeks time, they got rid of all the impure things, the blasphemous idols that had been built up over the reign of King Ahaz, and had the temple ready to be rededicated to the Lord (v. 15-19).

God said, “you need to consecrate yourself and get ready.”