Worship is…Part 3: The Conference

So a quick recap of my last two blogs, in case you missed them:

I was doing my daily reading one night, frustrated with life and feeling a bit stuck spiritually, when God brought my attention to 2 Chronicles 29:11, 15-19, in which he clarified the purpose of my call as a “worship leader”. After reading these passages, I embarked on a two-week fast that changed my life and opened my eyes. Strongholds that I had been fighting for years were suddenly broken, addictions and temptations that I used to have to guard against no longer held any kind of sway over me. The truths of God’s word began to take hold of my heart in new ways.

During this time, I was still doing the eight-week group study with my friends. The inner healing program ends, though, with a conference where all participants in the area/city/region get together to pray and strengthen each other in what we’ve all learned in prior weeks. For us, that meant going to Hong Kong for a two-day conference.

To be honest, I was a little bit apprehensive about it. Not because I doubted the validity, but I had struggled so much with the book material and its “current relevance” to my life, that I was struggling to believe that there was a purpose for me to go. Deep down I believed that God could use anything to speak to his children and I knew that I had no idea what was in store. But on the surface, I was feeling like God used the fast so much more in my life than the study that we’d been working on, in terms of inner healing and restoration, that I was really struggling.

But we’d paid the money and I wanted to get out of town for a few days, so we went.

My roommate and I skipped the first evening of sessions. But we showed up with smiles on our faces (and no clue what was about to happen) the morning of the second day. I won’t go through all the areas of prayer and talks and all, but I will say that I found myself very grateful and celebratory for the fact that I could stand up and say that many of these strongholds and wounds no longer had mastery over me. That in itself was a victory for me to celebrate. Looking back, I’m also inclined to believe that God knew that I would have never been able to process through all that was discussed there in a personal way in just one day. If not for the fast, a lot probably would have been glossed over.

But there was a significant point at the end of the conference that still sticks out to me: 

What is your name?

The leader of the organization that organizes these events got up to talk about God’s name for each of us. Not a job. Not a gift or talent. A name; an identity that He has specially given to each of us. Most of us don’t ever think or take the time to ask Him about it, but I do believe that He has a name for each of us. During the prayer time for that session, we were to ask God what our names were.

I asked. It was difficult. But I asked.

And the answer I got was 2 Chronicles 29:11. Believe it or not, in the weeks between preparing and participating in the fast and the conference, I had forgotten about 2 Chronicles 29:11.

Tears began to flow….

My roommate, Jo, had recently asked me what the name, Raychel, means – the best I’ve ever been told is Lamb of God.

So as God is reminding me of the meaning of my name and 2 Chronicles 29:11, it’s becoming clear to me…

My name is Raychel. I am a precious lamb of God who has been set apart to draw others to the Father.