Home

Someone asked me the other day if I miss home. Typical me, I can’t ever give a straight answer. My home is identified better by people than places. Ultimately, Christ is my home, and for that reason I can be happy wherever I am when I know that Christ is there with me.

But from an earthly perspective, yes I miss home. I miss my parents and sister. I miss conversations with good friends over French toast at Denny’s.  I miss driving down to the beach in the middle of the night just to listen to the waves and wonder at God’s majesty (I realize it’s a bit ironic given that I still live by the beach). I miss the headache of going to the doctor and getting drugs for a sinus infection. Yes, there are things that I miss about home. Despite that however, I love my life here in China. I love the opportunities for growth and the challenges that I’m faced with. I love the relationships that are cultivated. I love having time to read because I don’t have to drive anywhere. I love the amusement in the little things. I love that I have a choice between looking at mountains or ocean or both to be reminded of how awesome God is. Yes I miss the familiar, but I rejoice in the excitement of the unexpected.

Over the last week, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about home and family. Looking back at circumstances and choices made in the past, I’m reminded again how great is the reach of God’s power and love. Nothing gets too far for Him to keep hold of. I am thankful that despite my foolishness and ignorance, His mercy is never too little to leave me in my filth. I am thankful that when nothing makes sense and everything I’ve held on to slips out of my hands, He is still there holding me up with His righteous right hand. It’s not possible for me to let a God like that down. When I’m in need of comfort and feeling alone, when I’m beating myself up for not doing things the right way or not being good enough, I am comforted by this: The God who created ALL that there is, who crafted me in my mother’s womb, is not shaken or put off by my fears and hesitations. He is not chased away by my stubbornness nor disgusted by my sinfulness and pride. This same God who holds the world in motion, holds me close to His chest and whispers, “I love you.” If only I will be still enough to listen.