A Little Honesty

Shortly after my last newsletter I was reading about the Samaritan woman’s encounter with Jesus in John 4. The two of them have what seems to be two different conversations until suddenly she realizes that Jesus is about four levels deeper than she is and dives in. Jesus does the mic drop in convo when he declares “[that] the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and trust, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.” (John 4:23) I confess, this has always been one of my favorite verses. Such verses lend to a sense of haughty arrogance that says, “Yes, the Father is looking for true worshippers. Worshippers that transcend just he activity and really get what it means to put it all out for the Father. That’s me. I am a true worshipper. I get him.” 

I mean, am I the only one here? Am I the only one that has a selection of verses that just make me feel good about my spiritual self? 

I might be.

But I doubt it. 

Second confession: I have never been able to read Jesus’ declaration and a feel absolutely sure that I had any clue what he was talking about.

So, a few weeks ago I was reading this beloved passage of mine and I was stopped. Like the Holy Spirit let me walk right into a wall while standing by watching. Then said, “Do you know what this means?” 

I bit the bait and finally asked, “What is Jesus talking about here? And what does it really mean to worship in spirit and in truth?” And then I got real with him, “Do I have any clue what it means to worship in spirit and in truth??”

To get some context, the Samaritan woman is asking about where the right place to worship is. She’s asking Jesus to make some sense of this self-righteous separation that has taken place between the Jews and the Samaritans. And it’s Jesus’ response that has baffled me for years.

 

My roommate and I host a bi-weekly night of worship and prayer. The heart behind it is not to hold another “service time” or obligation during the week. We don’t even have a schedule for the evening. But we pray that the Lord would bring those who we’re to be connected with at the right time. We trust that the Lord will work in His will and way whether that be through song, prayer or scripture. But what’s really crazy is that it’s not uncommon that our worship looks like sharing our hearts with one another, bearing each other’s burdens, shedding tears and enjoying laughter together and, not infrequently, fellowshipping over food. Sometimes one person comes. Sometimes there’s a party. The beauty of it is that all of it is scriptural. I say it’s crazy because often when we think of church, we think of welcomes and songs and announcements, offering and preaching and then lunch. I know I’m overgeneralizing, but you get the point. There’s an associated order. It’s our natural human tendency, we need to know what to expect and what comes next. The Pharisees had an order that looked like fasting and sacrifices, rituals and regulations. Meanwhile the rest of the world that couldn’t measure up to Pharisaical perfection just did the best they could with not knowing. 

But sometimes God just wants us to show up and see what He has planned. We talk about Saul’s disobedience (1 Samuel 15:18-21) because he did what he thought was best with what he thought he knew. I think this is what Jesus meant when he said “The Jews worship what they know. You worship what you don’t know.” (My paraphrase of John 4:22) We all are trying to do the best we can with what we know to give it our best effort. But that’s not what Jesus came to earth for. He didn’t send us the Comforter and Counselor so we could just do the best that we can. Jesus came to live and die and rise; the Holy Spirit dwells within us, so that we would always be present with God in what He is doing now. 

This morning God asked me what it means to worship something/someone. 

Me: To give reverence and honor to said person or thing.

God: How do you show honor or reverence?

Me: If it’s a thing, you put it on a pedestal and make sure everyone can and does see it. You tell people why it’s significant. If it’s a person, you submit to their authority, obey their commands, honor them with your words and actions and all of your life is filtered through the personality and commands of this person.

God: Do you think you worship me well?

Me: I try, but no. I know I’m not that faithful. But the Holy Spirit works in me….

 

I’m no expert, but I think this might be what it means to worship in spirit and in truth. To know truly who it is you’re worshiping and who you are and simultaneously allow the Holy Spirit to sanctify our spirit to respond in humility and adoration. 

Racism and Identity

Growing up in a mixed, black and white household, the racism talk was never far away. There was a constant awareness of differences between culture, race and expectations. One of those expectations was that I would claim one of those races as my own. In my immediate family was the assumption that I would hold to that which I looked like. However, my personality seemed to indicate to extended family and friends that I’d “chosen” the other side. The truth is though that it never made any sense for me to choose a side. To have done so would have been to exclude or ignore an entire half of who I am and, what was more unnerving to me, pretend to be something that I’m not. One of the biggest insecurities that Lord has been gently healing in me is the fear that I can’t be all that others expect, and they’ll discover I’m not all that I seem. When I dig into it, I think this conversation is right where the insecurity started. I can’t pretend to be all black or all white because I’m not. And to do so would to be insincere to who I am and deny who I am at the same time. Stark black and white lines (no pun intended) make life easier for people. I don’t get that luxury. 

The last weeks in our country have taken an eerie u-turn. Right on the heels of a country trying to open back up and “return to normal”, right on the heels of a pandemic that has gut punched our country in very tangible ways, we’re seeing energy and vigor over a social justice issue that has been ongoing in our country. Are there hurts and injustices? Absolutely! Does something need to change! Yes! 

Once again, I don’t get the luxury of choosing sides. 

Last Saturday, as I scrolled through my social media, read the posts, blogs and comments of those that I have called ‘friend’, I found myself staring at that dividing line again. With the voices of society telling me I need to pick a side. My heart hurt. I felt more divided than ever. And I felt muted.

Then I saw something that broke me.

I saw brothers and sisters in Christ attacking the Body of Christ for not doing a good enough job at addressing this issue (or not addressing it at all). I heard hurts and wounds that should have been given opportunity to be healed appropriately, instead being exposed to the world for more dirt to get slung into. I felt the pain of those who carry the identity of Christ screaming at the Body of Christ for not fighting the battles of the world by worldly means. 

What the Lord revealed to me is that the only identity that I can confidently and wholeheartedly cling to is Christ. For any believer who calls on the name of Christ, their identity is in Christ. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ Jesus, he is a new creation; old things have passed away – behold, all things have become new.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

For us to cling to worldly identities based on race, sex, social status, economic status, nationality, as more important than the identity of Christ is like a butterfly trying to continue living as a caterpillar. The transformation has already happened! And here is the thing:

With Christ as our identity, we the Church, have been called with a purpose – “to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:37-38), “to love justice, seek mercy and walk humbly with your God”(Micah 6:8); “there is no Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal 3:28).

We, the Church, are absolutely called to address social injustice – “Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. (Prov 31:8-9) – over and over and over and over again (Isa 1:17, Jer 22:3, Psa 82:3, Rom 12:15-18, 1 John 3:17-18 to list just a few). But as the Body of Christ we are called to come bearing the Gospel – not for beating and submission, but in humility and love. 

The Gospel is the answer. 

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psa 147:3)

And the Gospel is powerful enough to work if we let it. God has promised to defend His own.  If our identity is in Christ Jesus, we need only to be faithful and obedient to Him and we will see the work of God here in this world - even in the face of racism.

Awkward Saturday

There is a tension between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday, between death and life. For those of us who pause to reflect on the significance of these two days, Saturday holds a tension that forces one to see the evil, the separation, the depth and death of sin. We feel the weight of the cost of sin. At least...I think we should.
For years I struggled with what to do with Saturday. It’s too soon to celebrate, but Jesus is still dead. What am supposed to do with that??
And isn’t that exactly the question we’re supposed to be asking??
When Jesus was hung on a cross to be killed, the disciples didn’t know what to do. They’d given their whole lives. Everything they believed in had been staked on this one person - Jesus.
He healed the sick, raised the dead, gave sight to the blind, made the lame walk, spoke truth and peace and comforted restless, weary hearts. And now he’s gone.
People traveled long distances to see and hear Jesus. People gave up families and livelihoods in devotion to Jesus.
Now Jesus was hung on a cross for death and buried in a rock tomb.
Condemned as a criminal.
Unfairly suffered and died.

Now what do I do?



Let that empty space fill you. Pause.
This is exactly the question that Saturday forces us the reflect on. What do I do now without Jesus?

What if Jesus hadn’t come back?
This Saturday would be our every day. This tension, this weight, this hopelessness, would become our normal.
Everything that Jesus preached becomes empty. His wisdom and knowledge are evidence of just another great man killed too soon. The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:14, “[I]f Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain.”
Saturday is a day to recognize the weight and significance of Jesus Christ resurrected.
Because the hopelessness and weight knees of Christ’s death is very real. He paid for all of our sins with his body on the cross. And he did it willingly. He died for me. He died for you. But our hope is not in a dead martyr, it’s in a living Savior. His resurrection makes a difference.

So today, I encourage you to stop and let the weight of the Saturday between sit on you. Let it resonate.
The questions.
The regret.
The disappointments.
The sin.

Because we know something that the disciples had forgotten this Saturday - Jesus’ resurrection is coming. We will not be left to live in death and sin and hopelessness.  We have very great reason to celebrate! Take time to reflect on what makes this celebration so great.

Sotiris: Lesson 4

Joy

Six months ago, had you spoken to me about the joys of having plants in the house, I would have smiled, nodded my head in feigned understanding, and then rolled my eyes (maybe just inwardly) at the ridiculous obsession people have with needing to "care for" plants. I mean seriously, do we not have enough responsibilities in our daily lives that we go looking for things to be responsible for???

Mind you, I am well aware of the many paths of argument  - most of them I've been on - this thinking leads to....How are pets/children any different?....God commanded us to to subdue the earth (still not convinced that he meant for us to bring it into our homes, but I digress)....Green is good....I get it. It's not an argument I ever intended to win. But I stood on my conviction firmly. And that was ok. Because it didn't bother me that other people around me were caring for plants, just so long as I wasn't being held responsible for them. You do you, boo. :)

But that was six months ago....

Four months ago, the Lord prompted me to buy a tree. 

At first I thought I was supposed to buy it as a gift for someone else. Then I realized the Lord was telling me to buy it for me.

"Whoa..say wha-?! I know nothing about caring for a plant! What am I gonna do with a tree?"

Well, in recent posts, I've shared with you what Sotiris is doing for me. I'm still not so sure that I know what I'm doing with him. But one thing is for certain, Sotiris has indeed been a gift.

A gift that the Lord intended to use to accompany me on this journey that He's been taking me on. Those of you sympathizers of my plant-avoidance and those of you who may not agree with my rantings but have been graciously humored by them can appreciate the very sudden 180 degree turn-around, can probably imagine my surprise when I realized that each morning I'd wake up and my heart would be filled with joy when I looked over and saw Sotiris sitting stoically. I could see the growth that was taking place; take a moment to appreciate that changes in shape. I would walk over and ACTUALLY TALK TO IT!

That morning, I was stopped in my tracks. Not because I was appalled at myself. No. Now I roll my eyes at myself, shake my head and thank the Lord for getting me out of my own pride and insecurity. But I was stopped when, as I stood joyfully greeting Sotiris "good morning", the Lord whispered,

"Do you know that's how excited I get when you wake up each morning? When you take time to just sit with me? My heart fills with joy. I love to see the growth you're experiencing and the changes in you as you continue to let me bring out of you everything that I've placed in you for the world to see; everything that I created you to be. You bring me joy."

Simultaneously, I'm filled with love and conviction.
Love because I am loved. So fully and perfectly loved, more than I could ever deserve. And it is a beautiful thing.
Convicted because I know that there are times when I don't go to the Lord with the same excitement and joy that He has for me. More than that, if I'm completely honest with you, He's not alway the first one I turn to, and I completely miss witnessing His joy.
But when the Lover of your soul is wooing your heart with eyes that shine with passionate acceptance, a smile so big that you can't not smile back, and arms wide open to draw you in and hold you...when this is what awaits me (and you) each morning, why would I not???
Why would I not go to Him in eager expectation and just as much, if not more joy than what fills me when I greet Sotiris, when I know that I am accepted and loved and desired?

O Lord, restore in me the ability to respond in kind to the joy that you have for me. May I live in and walk in that joy - Your joy. May my eyes be fixed on your wide-open arms.


And then there's this:
This joy is not just for me. It's for all of God's creation. Because ALL that He has made is good. But sometimes I'm blinded by the hurt and the pain and fear, and I lose my joy and forget that God rejoices over those around me just much. The ones that I'm praying for...the ones that I work with...The ones that I do life with...they can be discouraging sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to hold on to hope. It looks easer to throw my hands up. But Jesus has left the 99 sheep to find the one (or two or three or four) and bring them home. It was joy that spurred him on to die. It is joy that leads him to pursue and intercede now. And that joy comes from a place of pure, perfect love.
So when discouragement, frustration or impossible circumstances set in, fix your eyes on Christ and see the joy in his eyes. He hasn't given up on them or us. And neither should we.
Walk in His joy.

A Letter To The Church

Judgement can be a subtle thing.
Not always. Sometimes it's pretty brazen.
But it's the subtle judgements, the ones that seem rational, logical, fair, that can get us tripped up.

"But Ray, wait...what's wrong with rational, logical and fair? Those are good things!"

Absolutely! They are good. No argument.
We spend our lives in various ways seeking out and expecting rational, logical and fair. But who gets to hold the standard for rational, logical and fair?

Now, let me quickly interject that what I am NOT saying, is that you should not use your brain. Judgement, sound judgement, is necessary and expected. This is the judgement that leads you to make wise decisions, stay away from harm and basically live a healthy and protected life. 
But that's not the kind of judgement that I'm talking about. I'm talking about the judgements we make against others and situations where we stand in the position of judge and jury (and sometimes executioner). The ones we make when someone's seeming inconsideration on the road has you so angry that you deem it necessary to declare "foul!", and name the penalty. And while, in this case, the penalty may only be a tongue-lashing of a few course words inside the safety of your car, our spirit has just that quickly fallen into the sin of judgement.
And yes, it is a sin.
The rational. The logical. The fair.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:1-3)"

 And the reason is simple: to stand in judgement of anyone is to stand in the place of God. He, as absolute justice, has stated the standards and he is the only one in a position to judge how well we meet those standards (which of course we cannot do, that's why we need Jesus). So when we take the role of judge away from God, we put ourselves in God's place (idolatry) and declare God incompetent (ouch!).

With all that said, I need to make an apology to the Church, for I have judged you, and judged you severely. I have judged your heart. I have judged your worship. I have judged your commitment to our Lord. I have judged your teachings. I have judged your gatherings. I have judged you to be a thing that I did not want to be a part of. And I am sorry. 
So incredibly and heartbreakingly sorry. 
I am a child of God. Saved by grace through faith, and not a thing more. I have a deep love and passion for the Church - a burning desire to see the Church awaken and step into all that God's purposed for US. But I allowed that passion to turn into judgement when, instead of celebration, I found disappointment.
Bonhoeffer says it this way in his book Life Together:

The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and try to realize it. But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves. (pp26-27)

But instead of being disillusioned by myself and my great visions, judgement came and I lost the "promised Christian community". That judgement bred. It bred into all sorts of ugliness - insecurities, discontentment, anger, withdrawal, distrust, and more. And I have clearly seen the effect of my judgements against you in all of these ways in my own life. But I am not so naive as to think that my judgements have not also hurt you. 
I know that this might surprise some of you, but I do not have the words to convey the depth of my pain at the revelation of my judgements against you. "I'm sorry" just doesn't even begin to do justice. 
I'm sorry for the judgements that I've made against you and for the hurt that I've caused you. 
I want you to know that my love, my desire and my passion for the union between us and our Lord to be made manifest on this earth is as ever-burning as it was when the Lord lit me up years ago.
Dearest Church, I ask you for your forgiveness. And I thank God that He doesn't give up on us - even when our judgements convince us that "right is right, therefore I'm right." I'm so thankful that he's removed the blinders from my eyes to see you in all your splendor again. 
You are beautiful. You are set apart. You have been called with a purpose.
Church, I pray that together we can shine the light of Christ ever brighter into this world and reveal more of God's glory.

Sotiris: Lesson 3

New Experiences Bring Growth

I know that this isn't really a news flash for those of you reading - new experiences bring growth - but in light of the circumstances, I caught a glimpse of a little profundity in a very common truth.

When I fist started looking up instructions on how to care for Sotiris, my indoor tree, what I found stated that when the weather is warmer than 40 degrees, it should be outside. *insert snarky look* 

CUZ THAT MAKES SENSE!! 

The key to caring for your indoor plant is making sure it gets plenty of time outside....yea well, ok!

It's all good anyway. I would NEVER want to deprive this tree of a good dose of sunshine, so no worries. However, I got Sotiris in the winter, and weather is not exactly permissible for much outside time during the winter. So I've taken to only putting him outside on "good days". And finding little nooks for him to hang out in throughout the house when he can't go out. The thing is, even outside there are so many options on where to set him to soak up some sunshine and warmth!

So one morning shortly after getting him, I took him outside and said, "Let's go somewhere new today....Maybe sitting someplace different will be good for you."

Well, as soon as the words came out of my mouth (because, yes, I do speak audibly to my tree), it was like lightening flashed and suddenly I could see the growth that has taken place in every new location/experience in my life. More than that, I saw how even the scariest and most uncertain situations had wonderful impacts in my walk with Christ and revealed more of who He is to me. This was all in a split second of course. So then I paused....

Sotiris is a prayer tree. A symbol of the faithfulness and growth that I'm praying and trusting for in those who have yet to surrender their lives to Christ. So when I walk with him in the mornings to whichever chosen location, that time is spent meditating, reflecting, praying and listening to the Lord specifically over those individuals. Thus, this profound moment of new experiences wasn't about me at all. It was about those who have not yet come to know Jesus as both Lord and Friend, Savior and Master, wholly Just and fully Gracious; it was a direction for my prayer to turn that Christ might be revealed. Before I knew it, I was praying:

Lord, give ... the new experiences that open up challenge and enable growth. And when it seems difficult, show them your strength. When it seems scary, wrap them in your arms. And when they feel all alone, may they know that You will never leave of forsake them, and that they are being covered in the prayers of those who care for them. Most importantly, may they come to see their own need for You in their life. Amen.

 And I knew, as the prayer was being spoken that this was one of those dangerous prayers. The kind of prayer that asks the Lord to move in a mighty way that requires humility and courage on the part of the receiver. Because when God answers these kinds of prayers, we're not naturally inclined to lean into the pain and uncomfortability of it. The most trusting of us, have to teach our spirits to lean into that faith that we cling to in these moments and tell our souls that it is well. Praying this over those who have not come face to face with the majesty and grace and peace of the Lord Jesus, is like asking my best friend to shoot the neighbor with a paintball gun while the neighbor walks around the yard blindfolded. It seems so cruel!
And yet...
There is purpose and peace in the Lord's leading to pray such a prayer. We don't come to accept Christ as Lord by living a peaceful life that "seems" completely manageable. When we mostly have it all under control as best as we can, we don't go looking for help. It doesn't mean we don't need help. We just don't typically ask for help if we think we can do it on our own. It may seem cruel to ask for a storm when what we really want is the calm of flowery fields. But when you love those too much to let them continue walking around blind to their own need, sometimes you have to pray the dangerous prayers, ask the Lord to do the hard things and beg that their hearts will see and receive Him when His presence becomes revealed. 

I chuckle each morning as Sotiris and I walk through the house searching for the place to sit and warm and grow and be fed that day, because I know that others in the house will probably get a giggle when they come across him in a new location. But it is SO intentional. Because this is a lesson that I don't want to ever miss. For me. For you. For those that I'm praying for. 
Each mornings search begins the process when I pray for wisdom, strength and blessing. New places and situations can be terrifying, but there is so much more to be gained. 
When we trust.

Newsflash: It's Not Enough!

Have you ever had a small child, say three or four years old, walk up to you and say, "I'm hurt"?
You look up from what you're doing to see what they're showing you and find a dirty, bloody gash. Maybe it's just a scrape; you can't really be sure. But what's certain is 1) this child has been hurt, 2) the wound is not immediately fresh, and 3) said child seems to have somehow missed the significance of the need to clean and tend such wounds.
You attempt to check the wound, but they flinch. You ask questions to find out what happened and, with a bit of patience, begin to piece together what might have happened. You compassionately respond to encourage beginning the cleaning process when said child responds with, "yea...it's bad." And walks away to carry on with activities of the day.
For a brief moment, you sit in shock, asking yourself a dozen rapid-fire questions..
"Why would you not want to clean the wound?"
"When did this conversation end? I thought we were still talking.."
"Do I chase them down and force the cleaning process or do I let them be and tend to it later?"
These are just a few of the questions...there are probably a dozen more that could probe your mind as you watch that child walk away, depending on the situation and severity of the wound....

It's a bit of a comical scenario, I know. But I've worked with and cared for enough children to know that situations like these actually DO happen. And what I'm beginning to discover is that more often than not, I am that child going to the Lord with my wounds. My wounds though look like fear, and judgement, and anxiety. My wounds look like burdens to measure up, accomplish goals, prove my worth/value/identity. My wounds are deeper than flesh and bone and often cut to the heart. It goes something like:

Me: God, this hurts...

God: It sure does

Me: I don't know what happened....just all of the sudden it started hurting.......and I can't make it stop

God: Do you remember ....? Or the time when .... ? And how .... made you feel?

Me: Oh. Yes. That makes sense. I guess that did hurt a bit. And now whenever .... happens, the pain comes back - sometimes bigger

God: Yea. Until now you haven't trusted me to be able to heal it. Can you trust me now?

Me: *thinking for a moment* Yea. I can trust you. *Leaves*

And without actually giving that wound to the Father to tenderly care for and heal, I walk away.
Still wounded.
Thankfully, the Lord is not one to leave his children wounded when they're willing to let him work, so He pursues. And when He catches up to me, it's something like: 

God: Will you cast your burdens (wounds) on me because I care for you? (1 Peter 5:7) A lot. Here, I'll take your burden and you can have my yoke (burden/wound) - it's easy and light. (Matthew 11: 29-30) Jesus has already done all the work so there's no pressure for you to accomplish anything or prove yourself. You can just rest confidently that you're covered and taken care of. I'll heal the wounds that you give to me and you can be whole - the way I created you to be. But you have to give me your burden because you can't carry both. I think you've been walking around wounded long enough.

Me: Ok! Oh....this feels weird.

God: You've been walking around carrying that burden for so long that you've gotten used to bearing the weight. But I never meant or desired for you to carry that weight. You were created to live and love in freedom and truth and righteousness. This is what that feels like....

This is the message that's been getting hammered into my heart lately:

It's not enough to simply tell God that we're hurt. 

He knows. Often He knows the 'why' better than we even do. But if we're not willing to find out the 'why' AND release it to Him, there's no casting burdens. We're just updating God with old news.  

Our culture tends to shy away from acknowledging emotions. Sometimes they peak without our control or permission and we quickly have to shut them down. But emotions are not bad. They're telling you about something bigger going on in your soul. And if you don't listen to the emotion, how will you know the pain in your soul?

You can't let go of something you don't know you're holding. 

I want to encourage you tonight to take the time to process those emotions that come flaring up throughout your life. That person that you have to deal with but always agitates you. Those situations that make you wholly uncomfortable and make you break out into hives. Those pains you've been carrying since childhood... God wants to mend them. He's outside of time and space, there is no point on the timeline that He can't bring healing to. Do the work. Ask the questions. And EXPECT the Lord to answer. He will meet you and He will not disappoint. 

I'll admit, it's not always easy. Sometimes it hurts a little. But a little pain doesn't mean the wound is getting the worse. I've heard it said "God is not going to re-traumatize you". He wants to get you cleansed and looking more like Christ - genuinely and not of our own disappointing and heavy-laden will-power. 

After 30 years of life, I'm finally learning to trust my emotions enough to let the Lord bring healing to some dark places. After all, wholeness and healing is what sanctification is all about.

The Faith of a Child Does Not Age

My grandmother just turned 80 years old a few weeks ago. My grandfather did so last September. One thing that just makes my heart leap for joy when I hear them speak in awe of the faithfulness and graciousness of God. Like, its brand new to them! Every gift, every provision, every new revelation of who He is, is a brand new experience with Him. Their hearts rejoice. They smile real big. I, without trying to, I find my spirit celebrating with theirs that OUR God is so amazingly incredible!
Anyone who's heard my testimony of how I came to know Jesus, knows that it's because of the faithfulness of these two beautiful people. Their faithful and relentless prayers protected me and set me on a course headlong into the arms of the Savior. Their love and peace exhibited to me a truth and steadiness that I craved growing up in a world of chaos.
And they'll tell you,  I have always been their "baby girl" - they've been there from the beginning. Except...they weren't. They weren't always there. They couldn't be. Some of the most heart wrenching  memories of sadness that I still feel today were the times when I had to tell them goodbye after a visit. I hated leaving them. They weren't always there. But their prayers were. And the God that they trusted to protect and guide my life, the God that I had an inkling of but certainly didn't know - He was always there.
They prayed.
They prayed and they prayed and they prayed.
I was 15 when I came to know Jesus.
15!
15 years of praying.
And hoping.
And trusting.
And believing.
15 years.
15 very long years of praying for salvation and revelation and relationship.
And that's just one of the many prayers that they've prayed over me!
Years upon years of prayers for protection, wisdom, calling, purpose, provision, community....the list goes on.
You know what, I've since doubled 15, and I know - know that I know that I know - that they are still covering me in prayer. Always.

So why am I sharing this?
At 80 years old and with the faith of a child who is completely dependent on their Father, relying on his goodness and faithfulness, they still have not lost the wonder and joy that it is to walk with our Heavenly Father. And I am, by far, not the only one they've prayed for in their 80 years of life. Far from being the only answered prayer. With four kids, 11 grandkids and a few great-grandkids, their life is full. They have a church family that they are still very connected to, and ...at 80 years old, they may walk a little bit slower, but their hearts and minds are as fixed on Christ as ever.
I pray that when I reach 80, I still have that same joy and confidence in my Father and can celebrate the faithfulness of my God who faithfully answers prayers and never disappoints with those that the Lord has filled my life with.

And thank you Lord for giving me such wonderful examples of grace, love, laughter and family through these beautiful people. Bless them abundantly. Bless them mightily. And may they know absolutely, how much they are loved - not just by family, but by you.

Sotiris: Lesson 2

Wounds can happen with even the best intentions

Yesterday I left Sotiris outside to enjoy some sunshine (he's supposedly an indoor plant) but brought him back in for the night as it's still getting pretty chilly at night.* However, my room tends to get dry and warm with the heat on and I don't know if it was the change in temperature or just a lack of observation previously on my part, but when I went to sit outside with Sotiris today, I noticed a couple of brown leaves. A few of them were new baby shoots that had started, but shriveled up before anything could firmly take hold. The others were damaged spots on already established leaves. 

I. Was in. Shock.

Legitimately!

I mean, I like to think I'm not THAT oblivious to something that I'm responsible to care for! I've been watering and praying and giving him sunshine and fresh air....and yet here, before my eyes, I see evidence of damage done to this thing that I am far more attached to than my pride will let me admit outright. And I'm...clueless.

As I sat there apologizing, to both the Lord and the tree, for my negligence, and wondering how this could happen when I've been so diligent in caring for him, the Lord began to whisper a few things to me.

1) It is possible to not see/notice new growth until it's too late - and sometimes we never actually see it. And this isn't always a bad thing. Don't misunderstand me. I think that far too often though, we can miss the "first steps", the "new growth", the wing stretching, the stepping out into something new because the "new" can often seem so insignificant. And dare I say, in my own life anyway, I miss it as much in my own life as I do in the lives of those the Lord has granted met he privilege of being witness to. Sometimes the dead leaves fall off before we ever know they're there. 

And I had no idea what caused the bruising on those leaves, but it made me sad to know that these beautiful leaves would likely have a permanent scar from something that I had no awareness of. What if it happened again? What if...? 
"What if's?" trail along in my mind thinking that I somehow needed to protect the tree from....nature. It's natural. It's not pleasant, but it happens. And maybe I did have a part in the wounding....(ooo, ouch. Here we go Lord...#2), but maybe I didn't. And either way, maybe these little wounds won't be the death of my little tree. 

I've been challenged to be more mindful of my words and actions and how they impact those around me. I don't want to miss the opportunities to encourage new growth and I don't want to be the cause for someone else's wounds. Most certainly, premature growth happens and maybe it doesn't work out. And not all bad experiences are because of me. But I can be more aware of what is happening and how to respond.

2) Wounding....The Lord has been healing a lot of old wounds. And some new ones. It's easy to get angry and point the finger at those that we feel should have known better, should've seen, should've done better. I thought of how many stories of parents who have had the best intentions to do right by their kids, only to find out that their child was wounded by some event that they weren't even aware of. Whether it's the "first steps" that parents completely miss or new growth that they were just too busy to see or just life happening...children get wounded. 

As a child who has been wounded, this reality gives me the grace to show forgiveness. It reminds me to be intentional to see beyond the fault and address the wound. As well as to remember that sometimes failures promote more growth. Failure doesn't have to be the end.

3) Unlike us, God is never unaware. He doesn't miss the new growth - whether it's premature or not -  or the bruises, and he knows exactly it's purpose in our lives. He has a plan, a good plan (See Jer 29:11).

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depth of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psa 139: 13-16

The Lord has been teaching me a lot about the significance of wounds in our lives. Not the least of which is that the wounds do not make us, do not define our worth or ability. Sotiris is a very healthy and happy tree. So he's got a bruised leaf or two...I've probably got a few more than two bruised leaves on my life tree but I have been blessed beyond measure. Not because I've earned it. I've not worked my way into overcoming the pains. I've simply once again come to realize that the wounds don't define me, don't limit me, don't value me.
Only Jesus can do that. 
Anyone says who says any different speaks a lie. 
Jesus knew me before sin. Jesus knows me now. And the really beautiful thing?! Jesus was with me and saw me in EVERY bruise and EVERY failed new growth attempt. 

The tree will continue to grow.

*It was still winter in FL during the time of writing this

Sotiris: Lesson 1

There is One caring for you

This concept of caring for a plant is strange to me. In fact, it's one that I've often railed against it in playful fun at friends who think greenery in the house is a necessity. And yet...

Here I am - a new and PROUD owner of a tiny little tree named Sotiris. A name meaning Salvation. Named so for the purpose of the tree: to remind me of those whose salvation I am believing for and chosen in effort to represent the passage in Ephesians that I repeatedly come back to:

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen" Eph 3:14-21

 I felt compelled to get this tree as a symbol and sort of catalyst for my prayers. It seemed to be a pretty cool thought to get to watch the growth of a tree and was somehow sure that it was meant to teach me some perspective in the salvation process, but I truly didn't know what to expect. Within the first few days of ownership, however, the Lord has spoken faithfully - "I am taking care of you." 
I can see how food, water, shelter, sunshine for this tree is dependent much on me. If I leave it in my bedroom there won't be much growth happening and that would defeat the purpose of having the tree.  But since the tree represents to me, the spiritual side of life, I'm reminded that God is taking care of me - and those who I am trusting for. 
He controls and knows the needs we have for food, water, shelter, sunshine and all the rest. And in His sovereign hands, he's got it under control.
This of course is not a new thought for me, but somehow in this moment the truth that God is intentionally and willingly taking care of me, just became a whole lot more personal. He's feeding, clothing, and caring for his children. 

"And which of you be being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matt 6:27-31

So I want to encourage you with a little reminder. The birds of the air and the flowers of the field are taken care of by God Almighty. And this same God is offering to take care of each of us too. His ways are perfect. His ways are just. His love is true. He offers us the chance to rest in his care and trust Him with all of the cares of this world. What a relief it is to turn it all over to him and just rest. Taste and see that Lord is good in all of His ways. 

Adoption

When I was in eighth grade I made Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior.
I gave my all to him.
Surrendered everything.
Gave him complete control of my life, my will and my desires.

Around the same time, I met a family at church that basically took me in, adopted me in many ways. Over time, I became part of the family and I knew it. We celebrated birthdays and holidays together, we rejoiced together in the good times, mourned together during the bad times, we challenged each other, we did life together. 
My given family was a bit of a mess during this period of time and I was (and still am to this day) so incredibly thankful that I had this place to go; this family that I knew I was considered a part of - not just because I called them mine, but because they also claimed me. There was a couch and a cup of coffee ready and waiting for me at any time. I was welcome. I was accepted. I was loved. 

Scripture says that when you belong to Christ, the Spirit of God dwells within you and gives you life (Rom 8:9-11). Paul goes on to say that those in whom the Spirit of God dwells are made "sons [and daughters] of God" (Rom 8:15-17). 
By this Spirit we are adopted into the family of God. 
By this Spirit we are compelled to cry out "Abba, Father". 
By this Spirit we are made heirs with Christ Jesus our Lord. 
In Ephesians, Paul points out that when God created the world, He intended for us to be adopted as children of God through Jesus Christ and that we have gained an inheritance (Eph 1:5,11). He goes on throughout the epistle to state that we who have accepted Christ and are living by the Spirit of God have been made "fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God" (Eph 2:19), "fellow heirs, members of the same body and partakers of the promise of Christ through the gospel" (Eph 3:6). Again, in Galatians Paul writes, 

"God sent forth his son...to redeem those who were under the law so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying 'Abba, Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." (Gal 4:4-7)

 In light of this, returning to Romans 8, Paul's declaration of the surety of God's love for him, and for us, is incredible. You see, I've often held to the words and declaration of Romans 8:31-38 for an assurance of acceptance and love, but I had never before read these words in light of my adoption. But when framed with the lenses of acceptance as a daughter of the Most High, an heir and partaker in the household of God, these words suddenly hold so much more weight to them. 

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?....No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

They are no longer simply big words of the big God that I serve, they are words of assurance that the family I've been adopted into is never going to leave or forsake me. I am more than a conqueror who defeated sin and death through Jesus Christ. My Heavenly Father loves me, looks out for me, takes care of me, and will never abandon me. 

Until this morning, the concept of adoption has eluded me. I've understood the basic concept, and even more recently have I been able to start to grasp the weightiness of being called a daughter of God, a co-heir with Christ. What it means to not simply be accepted and tolerated but claimed, desired and made a part of. 
But my Heavenly Father has reminded me this morning of the significance of this family who took me in and made me one of their own many years ago. This, and so much more, is what it is to be adopted into the household of God: to be taken in, cared for, loved, desired, valued, made a part of the family, given an inheritance and treasured forever. 
What shall I say then? Can anything separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus? 
I dare say nothing at all. 
I am His forever. 

Transparency, Perspectives and Realities

I've been in Germany now for seven months. 
It's been seven months of seeking God's face and depending on Him for direction and provision.
Seven months of learning what it means to "trust in the Lord and lean not on [my] own understanding" (Prov 3:5). 
Seven months of trial.
Seven months of grace.
Seven months of stress.
Seven months of learning what it means to live guarded with the "peace that passes all understanding" (Phil 4:7).

Just after Christmas, it was brought to our attention that there was a misunderstanding in the financial expectations with our landlords, and suddenly we found ourselves with a very large bill and no income. I turned to God.
In November, I had a trial of learning what it means to trust in the goodness of God. What I learned from that was that God is ALWAYS good - no matter what, no matter where, no matter how the cards fall. God is good. 
So now in the face of a mountainous bill, is God still good? 
When there's a new, inexplicable ailment every week (for six weeks) that manages to somehow keep you down, is God still good?
When you know that your current God-given mission and objective is to learn the language so that you can clearly communicate the message of hope that you have been sent to share to a people, but you don't feasibly have the means to complete that task...is God still good?
When you weekly find yourself at the foot of God's throne, surrendering again the fears and doubts of living this life of faith, of loneliness, of pain, of distance, of - dare I say it - disappointment, IS GOD STILL GOOD??

The answer to all of these questions is invariably and resoundingly - YES!

And during that challenge in December, when I was literally facing a rock, a trench and a hard place and didn't like the looks of any of them I discovered what Paul really meant when he said to the Phillipians "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Phil 4:12) 
I learned that (and this may seem basic for some of you), while I've said for years that "God is good all the time and all the time, God is good", my belief of that was dependent on Him working out His will in accordance to mine. In other words, I was operating under the belief that any outcome that did not coincide with the ideas that I had in my head would constitute a failure (and since I know that I can't fail God, my concern for failure actually had much more to do with a fear of man than a fear of God). Therefore, they were not "good". 
However, the truth of the matter is that when we give something to God and say "Here you go. Do what you want with it" then God gets full control over what the outcome is - regardless of whether it's in line with what we want or not. AND, because God is good, ALL the time, "[h]e is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he" (Deut 32:4), then I should be able to not only trust but expect that any outcome that God brings about, get this, WILL. BE. GOOD. 

Can I just tell you what a weight off that is for someone who has no idea where the money for bills is coming from? Can I just tell you that when you're asking friends and family to send monthly support to you to do the mission that God has called you to (especially when it's currently "to learn a language"), what a relief it is to be reminded that while these are the people I'm asking for money, these are not the people I'm asking for validation in my calling and mission. 
My calling and mission are sure. 
God's Word is sure. 
My life's dependency on Him is sure.
But people, sadly, are not. 
Opinions change. 
Support varies.
Friends come and go. 

There is only one constant in this world, and that is God. And He is it for me.

So, in the last three-ish months, I have... (Also known as "Praises")
- progressed (quite significantly I would say) in my German language level and am almost at the closing end of the A2 level.
- had the opportunity to start a bi-weekly small group with a couple of girls from the university
- have been privileged to start meeting one on one with another university student 
- been able to join a church small group as well as participate with a couple of worship nights with fellow brothers and sisters.
- thankful for opportunities to share in meals with fellow language students and share about life and cultures
- experienced an incredible and unexplainable attitude of peace, grace and understanding towards others and towards myself
- begun to recognize new lessons beginning to be learned in my personal spiritual life (always exciting!)

Prayer Requests:
- Health: From depression to sinus infections to allergies (Spring will be brutal) to flu to strained muscles and fluke sickness that has never been a part of my life, my life has run the gambit for health issues in the last three months. I had a dear friend remind me about a month ago that God has a work here for me to do and the devil is certainly not going to just lie down and let me do it. My health has been one consistent way that the enemy has sought to keep me from doing all that I've set my mind to do. Please pray with me against these attacks and that my health would stay strong and good that I may continue on in the work that the Lord has set before me.

-  Study: This time of unemployment has been meant to be a time of study and growth in both the Word and the language. In both of these areas there has been much growth evidenced and I'm both excited and thrilled to see where it continues leading me to. Please pray for the continued endurance needed to finish this season strong.

- Small Groups: I'm thrilled that we've finally got small groups started after a season of quietly learning what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Please pray that these groups would be a source and space of life, love, encouragement and community growth among us as we seek to live/do life together as Christ's disciples.

SFC:  
1) The university is currently on break in between semesters until April so we're not currently having our weekly meetings. Absence can make the heart grow fonder but it can also cause a forgetfulness as well. Please pray that the community/family that has been built up over the last semester will actually be strengthened during this down time. 
2) The student leaders are also taking this break time to pause and pray about what God's vision for SFC Freiburg is and how we can best carry that out given the means and talents that we currently have at our disposal. I ask you to please be praying for discernment, boldness sensitivity and wisdom to the things of God that he would have done on our university campuses.

- Future Plans: 
1) Currently I have been in the process of applying for possibly apprenticeships that are available in Hotel Management. This would provide a bit of income, career training, a legal working visa and a whole new spectrum of people to influence with the Word of God (=]). However, this requires a German speaking level that I have not yet attained (B1, comes after A2), but am very close to. I would have to pass a test to say that I've done it. It also would require at least three years commitment, which is beautiful in the sense of long term (when three years is considered "long term") stability and constancy in the groundwork of ministry being laid; not necessarily so favorable in regards to return trips for visits in the US (but we'll see what God has in store). Please pray that if this IS God's will, the correct connections will be made and that those wheels will be set in motion ASAP. 
2) I am also currently in the process of planning a return trip to the US this summer. My intention is to work as well as visit. First and foremost, this trip is an answer to prayer to see family and so, while I love the idea of working again, I also would really love to spend time with family and friends. Please be in prayer for all of the details that are involved with this (transportation, schedules, monies, etc) to be worked out gracefully in His timing.

- Finances: Six months ago I asked many of you to consider helping to support my life and calling here in Germany, three months ago I reiterated this sentiment again and made known to you the option of sending monthly support via my organization ICMS (you can go to Ray's donation Page), now I'm asking again. The reality is that I still have very little coming in and I'm still not allowed to work on my visa (I'm currently living off of $200/mo; hello!). That said, I ask you again to please consider donating a monthly amount (it can be as little as you can afford) so that I CAN continue on in this amazing work that He has started here in Germany.

- Freiburg: There is a work of God on the move in Freiburg, and it's because of the faithful prayers of many faithful ones over many decades. Freiburg is a small university town and seemingly insignificant, but when you take into consideration that Freiburg University is a well-renowned university that has students from all over the world, when you take into consideration that the university students of today are going to be the leaders and decision makers of tomorrow, I hope you see the significance of Spirit driven vision for this city. Will you join me in praying for this city, for its students and for the faithful saints that are here laboring in churches, on campuses and in other outreach ministries (refugees, sick, homeless, prayer and more)? 

Second Christmas and Be Encouraged

"Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul." Ps 66:16

So here in Germany, we celebrate Second Christmas on Dec 26th. It's the day where people go out and celebrate Christmas with extended family and friends - you know, the people that you're NOT supposed to ditch your family for on the 25th. :)

Well Jo and I, along with another friend and student leader, were invited to spend Second Christmas with the family of another friend, J, a student that we've gotten to know through SFC this semester. He comes from a family of eight children and is very sweet-spirited with a quiet and calm personality; although he'd proven on a number of occasions that he has no problem getting LOUD or silly when the time calls for it. Given that, we were a little surprised by the invite to spend Second Christmas with his family, but also deeply honored.
His family, namely his siblings, went above and beyond to get us there and home again (they live up in the mountains), making accommodations for us to sleep comfortably, the dinner that was prepared was fabulous, they took us bowling (!!), and they even left the cat outside when they heard that I was allergic. They were wonderful in every sense of the word. 
But it wasn't just the things that they did for us that made this family wonderful. In my opinion, inviting complete strangers into your home, or better yet...allowing your brother to invite complete strangers into your home during Christmas holiday is enough to color me impressed. But no. That's not all it was. From the time that we met the siblings, walked into the house or sat down to chat, there was not a moment of feeling out of place, unwelcome or different. My German is rough and most of them spoke some English but few were comfortable using it. But that didn't stop us from sharing. Whether it was playing games, worshiping our Father together as a Body, or sharing the passion that God has placed on our hearts with each other, there was a tangible sense of the Spirit at work in this meeting and in this family. 

This Christmas season has been a tad challenging for me. It felt weird: a little strange, even a little lonely, and it's easy for me to start thinking too hard when I can't figure out why I feel a certain way. My brain started churning towards all the different unknowns and options that 2016 presents and, to be honest, and can be overwhelming if I don't keep myself in check and surrender it all to my Father. But Second Christmas was a blessing in disguise. I thought it would be a fun way to experience Christmas holidays the way Germans do it. Get a little immersed. Get out of my comfort zone. And maybe, if I was lucky, make some new friends or at least strengthen the ones I had.

It was so much more.

"The life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us - that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ." 1 John 1:2-3

One of the oldest siblings cut straight to the meat of conversation (already a plus for me because we skipped right over small talk) and asked Jo and I why we came to Germany. He had already pointed out that he knew that we were missionaries, so it was a pointed and slightly challenging question. But as we began to share the message that God gave us to share with German[s]y, as I listened to his hearts desire for Germans to come to an experiential knowledge of our Lord but his struggle to see it in real life, as I was able to share testimony of how we've already witnessed this movement taking place just in the six months that we've been here, I began to be encouraged and heartened. I hadn't realized it at the time, but some days later I realized that I needed to be reminded of my purpose and calling here in Germany. I needed to see the hope that fills the hearts and eyes of young students who here the message of the Father for them. And I needed to see that faithful obedience produces fruit - in this case, it was going, speaking and seeing the encouragement and empowerment that came just in sharing testimonies, in bearing witness of each other's lives.

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Heb 10:24-26

I am convinced that we, as a Body, are losing the significance of Christ in our daily lives here on earth, because we're forgetting WHO our God is. And the reason for this is that we don't share testimonies. We pass off His work in our lives as trivial or even convenient, but it's the constant awareness of God's presence and working in our lives that brings Him closer to each of us. It's when we are reminded of His work in the lives of those around us, as well as in our own lives, that we are able to 1) encourage our brothers and sisters in the faith, 2) become more aware of His working around us, and 3) live our lives as testimonies to believers and unbelievers alike - how else will they come to know this God??

What is God doing in your life? What are you trusting Him for this year? Share it. Tell it. Brag on God a bit, He deserves it. And watch the world catch fire with the Light of the World. 

Happy New Year friends! God bless.

Adventures in the Kingdom: Reflecting Forward on 2016

Five Christmas’…

Five New Year celebrations…

Five years of birthdays…

Have been missed.

Five year’s worth of life events - marriages, divorces, separations, estrangement, boyfriends (not my own of course), breakups, babies, moves, sicknesses and deaths – have been missed.

Five years.

It hasn't been easy. I wouldn't trade the experiences, connections and adventures that I've had for anything as they've shown me more of my King, who I am and how wonderfully He and I work together when I obey. But it has been far from easy. If you had told me six years ago that I would find myself living overseas as an expat with no idea what the next step of my journey would hold, I don't think I would've believed you. I certainly didn't anticipate this life. But faithfulness to the Lord is to live a life of adventure, I've found. (Even for those who don't country hop and stay in the same place, there is an adventure for you too.) Someday I pray that adventure will include a family and perhaps even a stable home, but today I'm reflecting on the adventures that have already been had. So many more than can be recounted here.

In June of 2011 I left America to go to China, thinking it would only be for one year.

In 2012 I thought that I would stay in China for just one more year.

In 2013 I obeyed and stayed for another year, but was beginning to sense that the end wasn’t in sight just yet.

In 2014 God began preparing me to move – but not back to America.

In 2015 my wonderful Father had me pack up my life into two suitcases and two boxes, move, once again, to another country, culture and community.

As 2016 approaches, I’m preparing for another wild ride.

This may look like a lot but when you consider that this
is all two people own aside from two boxes being
sent by mail, it's not much.

This time last year I was still in China; enjoying the blessings and surprises that came with living in China. But I was also wrapping my head around the word that I had just received to “go” yet again. By Springtime 2015, the command was unmistakable, “GO” to Germany. In July, I was on a plane to Germany with no idea what God had in store for me when I landed – and never could I have imagined. I remember as the plane was descending into Frankfurt airport, praying quietly, “God, I sure hope you know what you’re doing because I most certainly do not.”

But He has been faithful.

When we needed a place to call home, He was faithful to provide a place that was more and better than we could have imagined. He even added the much desired and much prayed for and believed for community that we so needed and desired.

When I had no idea where finances were going to come from, He provided for our needs.

When it looked like there was no way we would be able to acquire visas to stay, He provided the favor and the means to do just that.

When I had no idea where to begin getting involved in ministry, He provided the contacts to open the door to active ministry all over the city.

When I broke my toe, He healed it. Just ‘cause He can. *smile*

When I needed church support, He brought it (in the most unlikely of places)

When I was sick, He Healed.

When I was struggling with the goodness of God, He was patient with His child and reminded me that He is a Good Father, ALWAYS.

YES, my God has been faithful in every way this year (as He has been in the past). And I am thankful for the hard times, the struggles, the challenges that I’ve faced that have brought me closer to Him and taught me more of who He is.

Looking forward to the coming year, I’m excited to see what God has in store, though I confess that there is still lots to discover. I will continue on in my working/assisting with SFC in various aspects, including worship, teaching and relationship building. I will continue on in my language study for as long as necessary (likely another 6 months at least). I will continue to seek to build connections at the local Prayer House, as well as the local body that I meet with regularly.

Yet, in the midst of the consistency, I’m also seeking specific direction to become clearer in the coming weeks/months in regards to ministry, schooling, trips to the US and financial provision. As it is, I’m seeking and living off of financial support given. And will likely continue to do so for at least the next year (legally I am unable to work on my current visa; depending on how God leads in areas of ministry will dictate whether I seek work after language or continue on in this new phase of life). I would urge you again to pray and consider giving a small amount (maybe only $20) monthly to assist in the basic living expenses that need to be covered. One of the many blessings that has come in recently is that I’ve been accepted as an “agent” of International Christian Mission Services (ICMS) which is a 501(c)(3) organization and enables those giving to me as an overseas missionary to receive tax receipts. This is especially good news for the churches that I've been in contact with. A BIG answer to prayer.

2016 will be a year of excitement and challenge! It will be year of constant change and the unexpected. But it will also be a year of blessing and declaration. A year of fulfillment, and a wonderful year of growing with our glorious and wonderful Father. This is what I do know.

As you prepare to enter into a new year, a new season, perhaps even a new chapter, I pray that our God would bless you greatly in this coming new year and that 2016 would be a year of drawing closer to our Lord as children of God as well as the Bride of Christ. God bless!!